Hi,
I currently have a new born son, me and the mother are not together but are on good terms, during my 2 weeks paternity I mostly stayed at hers to help care for my son, during this time on multiple occasions she would smoke weed out of the window in the same room he was in. I raised my concern with her and was told dont be daft there is nothing wrong with it.
I am now further concerned that her new partner will be smoking weed around him as i know he does smoke.
Could you please give me some advice on what i can do and where i stand?
I also and name on the birth certificate and have parental responsibility.
Thanks in advance
Hi There,
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I think I would be worried about this as you clearly are, it's not a good start for a baby to be inhaling any smoke let alone drug smoke.
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I don't really know what the standing would be on this though, I'm not sure what you could do and what your options are, hopefully other mambers will have a better understanding than I do.
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GTTS
yh it is very concerning, dont want to have to take legal action with him been so young but might have too.
Hi there
It's a difficult situation for you and very tricky to work through and keep on good terms with her.
I think you need to talk to her again and explain that it isn't good to smoke at all in the same room with a child, it has been made an offence to smoke in a car when there are children inside and the dangers of passive smoking are now fully understood. The fact that its weed makes it even worse, and whilst you don't want to dictate to her what she does, whilst she is the responsible adult with care of your son she shouldn't be getting high.
Could you perhaps speak to her family members, a mother or sibling and ask for their help in pursuading her to stop doing it around your son?
To be honest I can't see her taking it seriously, and if she doesn't, the only other options are to talk to her health visitor or Social Services. They will want to talk to her, but once that happens it's likely to affect your relationship with her, she may even stop contact at that point. If that happens it would then be mediation and if that failed , an application to court.
Best of luck
Hi,
Thank you Mojo,
It is a very difficult issue, because during pregnancy she smoke it multiple times and was laughed, he is only 3 weeks old and out of them 3 weeks I have had him two weekends as she has wanted to go out.
From the sound of it your baby is going to need you around, not many mothers want to leave their newborn baby to go out socialising!
For the time being I would try and spend as much time with him as possible, at least whilst you're there you can safeguard him. Keep the conversation open with her and her partner and try and persuade them not to smoke in the same room with him there.
If you speak to the authorities at this point you could lose contact with him and it could take months to get it back... Courts often act slowly and I doubt they would be too concerned about cannabis use, it wouldn't be a reason to remove him from her care in my opinion.
After a few months, if the situation hasn't improved, you can tell her that you're going to speak to the authorities about it, by that time you will have established a close bond with your son and may find it easier to get a good schedule of contact in place.
All the best
Thanks Mojo some very good advice
You're welcome... I'm not condoning her drug use, or smoking weed more generally, but she would most likely deny it if you went to the authorities right now, and if they are happy with her parenting, it's likely they wouldn't investigate further, but at that point, because you had reported her, your amicable relationship with her would be over... severely impacting on your relationship with your baby son.
Best of luck