I am currently fighting for custody, my 8 yr old daughter was here for a few days access and as any responsible parent I checked her phone activity once she was asleep,
I found whatsapp messages to her friend with a photo of herself under the covers looking scared, the messages were pleading for help as mummy is angry and she is terrified, I was previously told by my little girl she hides under her bed from mummy when she's angry.
My daughter told me that she is allowed to fry eggs unsupervised on the gas cooker. Within the past day her mother received a conviction for domestic violence against me.
My dilemma is the court has ordered me to show all my evidence to my ex, this I feel will put my daughter in danger and she will see my intrusion into her phone as a betrayal of trust, so Do I do as ordered by the court putting my daughter at immediate risk or do I bury the evidence, lose the case and leave her in long term misery?
You absolutely use all evidence you have to show the situation uour kids are in with your ex .
The court will likely order an investigation be done and they’ll speak to your kids to get to the bottom of matters . Is custody possible / practical for you ?
I wouldn't submit evidence your daughter has given you. You could end up your daughter potentially turning against you.
It is very unlikely you will get custody even if you did . all you can do with this evidence is keep it stored away dated if you ever need to refer to it.
If you are in family court the best way forward is to go for 50/50 shared care or as close to as possible. its good your ex has a conviction for domestic violence against you.
If you do decide to go for shared care and you get granted it. its easier further down the line with lots of evidence to get full custody of your daughter at a later date. It is very hard for a dad to get full custody of their children, ones that do normally have 50/50 or very close to it already
My first and only priority is my little girl, I am in a good position, I live with my current partner by the sea in the south west, my Daughter has her own room and loves it here. So yes custody is right and practical, thank you for asking such a sensible question.
It will take a lot for a transfer of residency to happen. Unless schools and social services and police are heavily on your ex partners case then residency will stay with mum. Using the evidence you have could end up going against you like I said in earlier post. I assume you live a fair distance from your ex travel wise as well which would make midweek contact impossible if so.
hi angry dad,
there would have to be very serious reasons for change of residency. my kids are 10 people to a 3 bed flat lol. for this reason i asked court to order kids to live with both parents. i am not holding my breath and have a feeling this would be ignored and they will say its better for kids to stay as they are for stability.
check out this video. american guys but still very relevant:
My daughter is terrified of her mother, access both phone and direct is difficult to say the least despite a court order, my little girl who has always been honest and open with me now tells me lies to cover her mothers behaviour, but when she's with me she's happy and honest although it's obvious she's under orders not to tell me anything of her life at her mother's. She emailed me because "mummy is angry again" then when I asked her about it she tried to say it was an error or and old email, typo and other excuses, obviously her mother had seen it on her phone. I am concerned that if I send a copy of my case to my ex as directed by the court she will take it out on my daughter because much evidence has come from her but if I don't send it the court will rule it inadmissible.
Have you been in touch with children's services? It sounds as though there are real safeguarding concerns here.
My daughter is terrified of her mother, access both phone and direct is difficult to say the least despite a court order, my little girl who has always been honest and open with me now tells me lies to cover her mothers behaviour, but when she's with me she's happy and honest although it's obvious she's under orders not to tell me anything of her life at her mother's. She emailed me because "mummy is angry again" then when I asked her about it she tried to say it was an error or and old email, typo and other excuses, obviously her mother had seen it on her phone. I am concerned that if I send a copy of my case to my ex as directed by the court she will take it out on my daughter because much evidence has come from her but if I don't send it the court will rule it inadmissible.
hi, at face value it sounds petty. perhaps your child was messing around at dinner time and her mum started yelling. my kids wind me up the most at meal times. kids get scared very easily. I have no control how their mum behaves with the kids in her own time, so no point in poking my nose there. focus on the time you spend with your child, as you have lot of control there. if you have solid evidence there is some serious abuse/neglect going on, then you should start bugging social services about it.