[Solved] Cafcass ( massive issue)
Iam not sure if my topic is in the right place but i hope it is.
I really wish if I can get some help .
Me and my ex were on holiday last year at my country where I came from ( my wife is Bristish).
We have our son he is 2 and half years now , we have agreed to leave our son with my parents for a short while untill we come back UK and sort out our financial position and we agreed if we couldn't do it we straight away bring our son back.
Without going to so much details .
Me and my ex came back to the UK without our son but she reported me to police and accused me with abduction.
Of course police didn't take any action against me because I told them we have agreed to leave our son with my parents and we can bring him back to straight away if my wife wants so,
Our son was back after few days and she didn't let me see my son so I had to go court end of last year to secure contact.
At the first hearing My wife was insisting that I abducted our son and I planned it but i explained that we agreed to leave our son with my parents for a short while or we can pick him up whenever we want,
The court ordered me to spend time with my son every 2 weeks supervised at contact centre which I pay over £70 per hour and ordered fact finding hearing.
At the fact finding hearing the judge said that balance of probabilities can't find if I planned this but they think I put pressure on my wife to leave our son back home.
So that means I left our son a broad without his mum consent.
And ordered for cafcass to make s7 report and I have meeting with cafcass next week.
Our son has Dual nationality , the mother concern now is flight risk , she thinks that I can issue a new passport for him with his second nationality and take him back home.
And I don't know what to do to prove to her that I will never do this.
I don't want to take my son away from his mother and I never wanted this .
All what I want now is to spend time with my son and for him to come and stay with me and have equal and fair contact.
I would love if I can have my son 2 days a week at my house but of course they will not trust me if I will not take him and escape abroad.
Is there anything I can do to prove to cafcass, the court And the mother that my son will be safe with me and I will not issue new passport for him and I will not take him abroad .
Pleaseee I really need your advice about what should I do in this situation.
Many thanks in advance.
I would imagine it's up to the court as to what they believe. You could certainly offer an undertaking to the court that you won't take him out of the country without permission. Which country is the other nationality of your son? I'm not sure whether there is anything you can do to satisfy the court that you won't apply for a passport, but it's possible that an order from the British courts might hold some sway in the passport office of another country if there is any reciprocal arrangement between countries.
Thank you so much for your answer ,
I can offer undertaking to the court that I will not take him outside the country without the court permission of course but i don't think that the court will easily beleive this .
I got my embassy to send me and email saying that they will obey and honour any court order stopping me from issuing new passport for my son and also they said we will inform the court if you applied for a passport for your son without the court permission,
Will that work ?
So Iam open to have an order stopping me from issuing new passport for him and my embassy will obey this order and will inform the court if oneday I applied for my son passport without court permission.
Second thing I said to my embassy that I can sign a statement confirming that I will not issue passport for my son and if I did so inform the family court .
I don't really know if that will be enough to convince the court and cafcass that I will not do that or they will not trust the embassy??
I don't think there is any reciprocal arrangement between countries as it's outside Europe.
There must be somthing that they can do to stop me issuing a new passport for my son so I can have normal life with him.
And this will be my suggestion to them .
What do you Think??
Many thanks in advance .
I think it's a good step, it shows that you're making every effort to reassure your ex and the court that your intentions are honourable.
Best of luck with your CAFCASS meeting next week, just be yourself and keep your focus on the child and what is best for him.
All the best
Thank you Mojo for your support ,
I really hope they will trust my embassy because there is no other solution for this .
Nothing else I can do for them to trust me.
I wonder if the court can ban my son name from travelling abroad without court permission ??
Is that possible ?
They can do that if i asked them to do ?
Now iam seeing my son once every 2 weeks supervised contact centre I pay ove £70 per hour .
My meeting with cafcass is next week .
What kind of suggestions I should suggest to cafcass officer to move the contact forward ???
For me to be honest I would like to have shared residency at least to have my son 2 days a week and to stay over night but i don't think they will agree that easy and my ex 100 % will not agree.
So what kind of suggestions to move the contact from supervised to unsupervised ?
What should I ask for ???
Is it to much to ask for 2 days a week ??
Or what should I do ???
Thank you guys .
I think it may be possible to contact UK customs and have some kind of stop put on your son leaving the country. You could give them a call and ask about it.
I think if you can reassure the court about the flight risk, they’re much more likely to want to progress contact. Hopefully you will get a good report from the contact centre and the court will agree to contact happening unsupervised after a short period of time.
It would be a good idea to prepare a schedule of increasing contact, starting off with half days once or twice a week, increasing to full days after a few weeks, and then perhaps a full day and an overnight a few weeks after that. If that goes well it’s not unreasonable to ask for a full weekend and a midweek visit too.
Once contact has been increased to a full weekend, the court may want weekends to be every two weeks, but it’s usual for a midweek contact to be introduced at that point, sometimes that could be an overnight stay.
All the best
Thank you again Mojo
I think the court really should know who to contact to put a stop on my son leaving the county or stop him leaving the country with me for example,
I hope it's a possible thing and it can happen because i don't know if it's my responsibility to keep looking what I should do to prevent myself from taking my son abroad.
I have done my embassy side And my embassy confirmed they will not issue passport for my son without court permission.
I don't know what else I have to do to reassure the court really.
I hope they can see that Iam ready to do anything to reassure them that I will not take him as his mother allegation.
I have seen reports from contact centre for every session and I also asked cafcass to see them ,
I think reports are fine and they are good, I hope cafcass and the court will think so because nothing wrong with the reports but i don't know what they are looking at when they read the report.
I will be seeing my son with cafcass the week after meeting with them also.
And it was me actually who asked cafcass to ask for the contact centre reports to read them as that might help them to make recommendation to move contact forward.
I think your schedule sound reasonable ,
I will ask for that.
And if they can't agree I will suggest someone can come with us to my house ,
Someone from her family or so and spend night with us I have no problem so they can be sure I will not take him.
What do you Think mate ???
I really hope cafcass and the court will beleive me?
And if they did beleive me but the mother still insist to supervised contact , what will be the court decision?
Follow her or they can go against her wishes?
Thank you so much for everyone here ,
This website made me feel Iam not alone as I have been alone for nearly a year now.
Had my metting with cafcass ,
It's really hard to rate it to say if it was good or not,
She just asked me tell her the whole story how did you meet your ex and how did you get separated and what happened ,
It's all was written in statement anyway but she didn't get it from the court so I had to tell her the whole story again,
She even asked me about 2 allegations my ex said about throwing somthing infront of our son when I was angry and also shouting with her dad which I said this didn't happen and I said it didn't happen and explained it fully in my statement.
I explained that I know the judge said that I left our son with my parents abroad without my ex consent but i don't know if I have to accept this or I have to keep saying noo because for me we agreed about leaving our son abroad with my parents for a short while but i couldn't prove it,
And even if I left my son without my ex consent that doesn't mean I will abduct him, Because this didn't happen and judge said it was not planned,
I told her I don't think we have to keep talking about the past now we have a problem and we need to solve it.
I asked her Do you know what is the problem ??
She said yes ( flight risk) and then she said your ex doesn't have any concerns how you care about your son or how you look after him or worried about anything from this way but the only problem is flight risk she is worried that you will take him abroad be issuing a new passport with his second nationality and will never be back again And she wants the contact to be supervised all the time.
Then I said we have to solve this problem first and if we can solve it then everyone will be happy.
And then I gave her a copy of the emails between me and my embassy suggesting that the embassy will honour and obey any court order restricting me from applying for passport for my son.
And also that iam ready to write a stamenet asking the embassy not issue me a passport for my son and if I did they have to call the court and inform them straight away.
I also suggest that a prohibited steps order can be made against me not to issue a passport for my son with his second nationality or British passport and not take him abroad,
And a copy of this order can be sent to all airports to put it on their data base which I don't know if it's possible or not and the cafcass officer she didn't even know .
This was my suggestion so the court and my ex can trust that I will not take my son outside the courty,
From my side nothing else I can do,
Then she started to ask me some question about my son ,
Like what his day like?
What food he likes?
How will you deal with his tantrums?
I explained to her that when we were married I had to changed my job and work 4 full days and be with him 3 full days while my ex was at work and showed her some photos together and video while I was feeding him last year,she wrote somthing on her computer when she saw the video tho,
She asked me what you used to do when you both are together at home ?
I explained our day like waking up changing his nappies then put him in his high chair and give him breakfast and then depend on weather we can go for a walk around the house with the dog or we just stay in the house playing then he will have his afternoon nap and when he wakes up he ask for his lunch then i feed him and if he is in good mood then I cook for my wife and make food ready for her when she come back from work then we eat straightaway,
She asked about religions aswell,
She asked so many questions I honestly cant remember every thing as it was 3 hours meeting ,
It was 1 your longer than it should be ,
Ya I forgot somthing ( my son receives medical treatment)( life condition)
I told her I will not risk his life and take him abroad when he gets a better medical treatment here in the UK then she said what if he is not sick will you take him???
I said no of course because I beleive that every child has the right to have his mother and I will never take him from his mother and I hope my ex is thinking the same thing because every child should have his father aswell.
I explained that Iam ready to do anything to be with my son and just looking for his best interest ,
And also explained that I live in a big house with just my friend who is the landlord and that I have a big garden and spare room that my son benefit from it as he lives in flat with his mum,
She then asked me what is my proposals??
I said I want fair and equal contact ,
But we can start it abit by bit,
We can start half days twice a week and then few weeks after will have full days and then staying over night,
And if my son is feeling better and he is happy with it I would love if I can have him 3 days a week as I used to do in the past ,
I do have everything that enable me to look after my son so I hope i can have him 3 days a week.
This is all what I can remember really but we talked alot about everything I can't say if she was with me or against me but by the end I told her ( This report will effect on my life please just do what is good for my son and what is in his best interest )
Iam not asking you to be with me or be against my ex Iam asking you to do what is in our son best interest.
She said I'm not with either side I will hear from both of you and will do what is in your son best interest.
I have a second meeting with cafcass next week but this time will be with my son ,
She said she will see my ex and my son first for 30 minutes and she will see him with ke for 1 hour and again with his mum for 30 minutes,
Which I can't understand why she dividing it this way??
What do you Think guys from the interview that last for 3 hours ,??
Good or bad or you can't tell ??
And any advice please what cafcass office will be looking for while I am spending 1 hour withmy son??
Thank you in advance
a 3 hour interview sounds good. It means she was interested in taking the time to get your side, not just box-ticking and having pre-conceived ideas.
I hope so ,
We started 10 o'clock and we should finish by 12 she said but we finished 12:50 so it was almost 3 hours .
I really hope I will get a good report after her seeing me with my son next week .
Good morning guys,
I have my second interview tomorrow with cafcass but this time with my son.
She wants to see me with my son for 1 hour
Any idea what are they looking for??
And why she wants to see me with my son as she has many reports from contact centre ,
Is it a good thing for her to be bothered to see me with my son?
Any advice will be appreciated,
Many thanks .
They will just watch you interact and how you care for him, just be yourself and let the visit go naturally.
If the visit is at your home, have toys for him to play with and some snack and drink, if he is still in nappies, check that he is clean and dry. Make sure the area is safe and clean and tidy.
If the visit is away from home, take some snacks, maybe some fresh fruit (if you take grapes make sure you cut them in half), maybe a favourite toy and a book. Also a change of nappy and some baby wipes.
Best of luck