Hi Guys,
I am not sure if this is in the right area ok i will keep this as short as i can well. I have a residence order in place for my two children my x partner is not very stable but gets every other weekend. I am having issues as my daughter comes back she is 5 years old coming back saying mummy always asks me if i want to live with her and that she is having to share a bed with her brother. And he always hurts her but not only is this the issue they have just returned to my care today and my daughter has mentioned about mummy taking them to spain? Now what would i do if i send them for a normal weekend away they jet off to spain the first thing i would know is they have not returned? To put a bigger spanner in the works she is due another baby which social services have been involved with her before hints the reason i have custody over my two children. Really guys i need advice in what i should do regarding this i know my daughter is only 5 but what should i do with my concerns because if i voice them social services always say seek legal advice and if she has them again and jets off where does this leave me. My daughter has even mentioned mummy telling her about changing schools ect.
Thanks for your help guys!
Hi there
I would suggest that you contact the passport office and inform them that you have a residence order in place for your two children and don't give permission for them to be removed from the country. Do the children have a passport?
You could apply to the court for an urgent Prohibited Steps Order, this would give some added security against her removing them from your care. I would also contact Social Services and bring them up to date with what your daughter is saying and ask them to place a record of your concerns on file.
Have you tried approaching your ex about this and asking her to stop confusing the children in this way? It would also be advisable to discuss the current sleeping arrangements, which are distressing your daughter. Rather than addressing this directly with her, it would be better to put your concerns in writing to her, keeping a copy for your records, which is helpful if you go back to court.
It would also be useful to keep a written record of what is happening, with dates and times.
If you are worried about the effect this is having on them emotionally, you could speak to the school about offering them some pastoral care, someone they can talk to about what ever might be worrying them.
If you want to apply for a PSO you would need form C100 and the fee for making an application would be £215, however if you are in receipt of benefits or on a low income, you may be entitled to an exemption from the fee, to apply for this you would need form EX160A. As the children would be at risk it's also advisable to submit form C1A to tell the court about the risks that exist.
If you require any further advice please don't hesitate to ask.
All the best
Thank you for your reply i have emailed the passport office my concerns and regarding the sleeping arrangements these have been brought up before but the mother states its not happening. When clearly my daughter is telling me otherwise. I have spoke to my Daughters school and my sons pre school regarding my issues so they have a note ect and they will also contact the authorities on my behalf. I do have a child arrangement order and PSO order dated 4th July. But my concern is if she goes to the airport they would not know all this as they do not have the documents on file at airports so its not likely to flag up also being the mother they would just assume she has custody. As with anything in this country i have found that the UK justice system ect is very biased/sexist. I will await the response from social services as well as they will be looking into this. Also i will await a response from the passport office in the mean time i think i will make an excuse why they cannot go to there mums.
This seems the only step i can take to protect my children until something is sorted.
Kind Regards
Alex
I'm sure the passport office can put your ex on their system and if her or the children's passports are presented at customs it will automatically flag up. However I think you're wise to suspend contact for the time being.
I would be truthful with their mum and let her know that you are suspending contact over concerns for their well being, your daughters sleeping arrangements, which are distressing her and also the possibility that she is planning to remove the children. Inform her that you have been in contact with Social Services and the Passport Office and have contacted the children's schools and are awaiting further advice.
Best of luck
Thank you for getting back to me so quickly i have emailed the passport office ion Glasgow as advised by the passport office in London. I also concerned for my child's well being after contact with there mother this is another reason why I need social to be involved. Due to mum having contact and it seems playing mind games with the children. I.E asking where do you want to live or for another example during the court hearing about the child arrangement order social services. Used a game called the island game where there are 3 islands Always island Sometimes Island And Never Island. Well my daughter has told me which seems really alarming mummy is playing this game with her and moving daddy to the somtimes/never island. This is very damaging and very confusing. More so mother will not give me her mobile number or any contact details for her.
I will await social to see there response in the mean time the schools are aware.
Many Thanks
I agree with all of the advice that Mojo has given you.
I think that keeping on at Children's Services is a good move for now, but I really would consider making an urgent application to court. How do you conduct handovers if you don't have any way of contacting the mother?
You could consider offering supervised or daytime contact only until the matter has returned to court.
Hi supervise contact did not work before the court proceeding social advised supervised contact and this ended up with the person supervising it being attacked. I am on at social services but i was advised last time by a solictor in August to force her to take me back to court because the mother has breached the order on numerous accounts.
My worry is social services are already involved with her because she is pregnant again with another child and i have a feeling because her current partner and her cannot and have been deemed unfit to have children full time. I believe this plan is to up and leave before christmas My daughter said to me this morning Mummy is planning on taking us to spain at Christmas time.
This would ring true as she is due in January.
She is currently messaging me via facebook regarding contact but through a friends facebook.
Regards
If it comes to a point that you feel it is in the best interests of the children to suspend contact, even if she doesn't take the supervised contact, it means you can show proof to the court that you tried.
You can find details of local contact centres here;
I am surprised a solicitor would advise you to force her to take you back to court. If you have the concerns that you do, I would say these are grounds to return the matter to court yourself.
Messaging you through a friends facebook isn't really appropriate for her to do at these matters are of the utmost confidentiality. I don't think the court will take kindly to that.
Best of luck
Hi Guys,
After contacting social services the schools they both have told me to force her hand to return this matter back to court. I have also let social services know off other breaches to the court order including mother not doing the parenting course as instructed and also mother not suspending the childs benfits as instructed. Also inclduing no contact details for the mother. Along with lateness and returning the children late i.e last contact session the kids where ment to be returned by 5pm so i can bath feed ect before school on the Monday. No way to contact mum as she has wont give me her number and she dont respond to messages via social media only via friends social media. So the kids on this day where returned very late at 7pm. I have told social i am keeping every logged that has happened for when or if this matter returns to court. Social have told me because i have the main day to day care social look to me really in regarding to safe guarding the children and also the sleeping arrangements that are not ideal. In actual fact the sw told me on the phone if the shoe was on the other foot and the kids life with their mother what would the mother do if the children went to her mum we sleep on the floor. I said she would stop all contact she went there we go and she said as the mum is a flight risk with what your child is saying we would advise to stop all contact. But as always its procedure to seek legal advice before doing so. But the SW did say its only a court order who cares mother has breached this and your child safety is more important than a court order. Also i said to them well if i let contact to continue and she did flee the judge the solicitor social would all look to me and go why did you allow contact..... She replied exactly. So she told me that I know what i need to do. So i think guys thius matter does need to return back to court because of mother breaches previously ad the contact is not suitable.
Thanks for your help