Hi I am a Dad of 17 year child and was unable see the child even though I tried very hard. It was a very bitter emotional divorce.
I decide to remarry and have a family to sort my self out. Now that I am comfortable with my new family, I feel that I ready to retry to contact with my child.
Even though my ex tired place injunction against but she failed. I pay child support to my ex and I am up to date. Could some body help how to contact my child.
Hi there
As your child is over the age of 16 this would not be a court matter.
Perhaps you could write to them or make contact through a third party to test the waters. At 17 they may be on social networks which might be another way to make contact.
It might be difficult for your child, depending on how long you have been out of the picture and what the mother may have been telling them. If you do try and make contact it would be better not to be negative about the mother, or talk about the bitterness between you and her. The child may well feel a certain loyalty to the mother and so it's best not to give them a reason not to pursue contact. Just keep it light, show an interest in them and what is happening as far as school etc... Maybe a photo and a little bit about you...I wouldn't talk about your other family at this point, just keep it about you and your child.
I'd echo what NJ has said, I met my dad when I was 17 and he instantly started slagging my Mum off which got my back up straight away, Looking back he only wanted to see me to get back at my Mum out of spite, he also harped on about his other family ect which I ended up resenting him for.
Be prepared he may not be to happy with you as you've not been there for him and he may have been fed all sorts off your Ex, Most of my problems through life have been due to feeling rejected off my Dad and this stems from the age of 4 I had alsorts of problems at a very young age and it took me 30 years to get over them.
As it turns out my Dad is still a complete waste of space and I no longer see him as I simply can't be doing with all the stress he brings.
Tread very carefully don't over power him when you do get to see him and you'll be fine 🙂
Thank you for good advice. Last thing I would do is talk negatively about my ex, also I am not trying to get back at my ex. I feel my child should know me. If do not try there will be gap in my life.
Thank !!
Hi There,
I think that is is a definate "if you don't try ypu will never know" situation.
Are there any family memberes you still talk to that could help you make contact from your ex's side? if not as already said social media would be a good place to start. The other option could even be to approach his mother first, if you are able to talk with her and explain where you are and what you are looking to do.
GTTS