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[Solved] KIDS MUM USING DAUGHTER AS A WEAPON - ADVICE PLZ

 
publication1
(@publication1)
Active Member Registered

I split with my ex of 4 and a half years in March and now the current situation is that I have not seen my kid in 6 weeks.

We agreed to go our separate ways at the end of March, we sorted out sleeping arrangements and how much money per week she was happy with. I used the CSA's calculator to work out the cost I would need to put into my ex partners bank each week.

We signed and data a family based agreement which clearly shows the agreed times and dates.

Fast forward to now, my daughter has been assaulted by my ex's new partner (got police involved but nothing was red flagged to them by my daughter)
Since this she's using my kid as a weapon as now saying because I got police involved she is stopping all contact with me.
She has since went to the CSM and I now need to give her £75 a week (Shocking they do not take disposable income into this)

I have not seen my daughter in over 6 weeks now and have bit the bullet and have my first solicitors meeting tomorrow.

What im looking to find out is any one else in this situation ?
How much are solicitors fees going to be likely ?
How long will the whole process take from now till I get a legally binding agreement in place ?
Can I do anything to see my daughter quicker whilst this process is going on ?
Is there actually anything stopping me from just putting my daughter in the car if I see her ? (Im on the Birth Certificate)

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 23/10/2017 4:03 pm
Mojo
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

Solicitors fees can reach into the thousands I'm afraid, but it depends on how long the case takes, which can be anything from. A few months to a few years... Although the latter is the exception and would involve many complex issues.

You will need to attempt mediation first, this is a requirement before an application can be made, I would save yourself some money and get this underway before taking on the service of a solicitor, their advice should be the same at this early stage.

You can make a direct approach to the mediation service www.nfm.org.uk And arrange to have a chat with them, they will then ask your ex to attend, if she refuses or mediation fails, the mediator will sign. The form to enable an application to court to be made. This would be an application for a Child Arrangements Order.

If it reaches this point you can ask for an interim order for contact to be made at the first hearing, on the c100 application form. There are no guarantees that you will be granted contact... If the mother makes allegations against you , this may hold contact up until safeguarding reports are made.

If you submit an application to court, you can also complete form C1a to tell the court of the risk of harm to your child, by the new partner, however if there's no proof it's unlikely to make a difference overall, but it is a way of letting the court know about it.

It's never a good idea to take a child without the agreement of the parent that the child lives with, it could go against you in court, later on down the line, she may claim that you are a flight risk and contact might be affected if the court take it onboard.

All the best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23/10/2017 4:21 pm
publication1
(@publication1)
Active Member Registered

Hi there

Solicitors fees can reach into the thousands I'm afraid, but it depends on how long the case takes, which can be anything from. A few months to a few years... Although the latter is the exception and would involve many complex issues.

You will need to attempt mediation first, this is a requirement before an application can be made, I would save yourself some money and get this underway before taking on the service of a solicitor, their advice should be the same at this early stage.

You can make a direct approach to the mediation service www.nfm.org.uk And arrange to have a chat with them, they will then ask your ex to attend, if she refuses or mediation fails, the mediator will sign. The form to enable an application to court to be made. This would be an application for a Child Arrangements Order.

If it reaches this point you can ask for an interim order for contact to be made at the first hearing, on the c100 application form. There are no guarantees that you will be granted contact... If the mother makes allegations against you , this may hold contact up until safeguarding reports are made.

If you submit an application to court, you can also complete form C1a to tell the court of the risk of harm to your child, by the new partner, however if there's no proof it's unlikely to make a difference overall, but it is a way of letting the court know about it.

It's never a good idea to take a child without the agreement of the parent that the child lives with, it could go against you in court, later on down the line, she may claim that you are a flight risk and contact might be affected if the court take it onboard.

All the best

This has been great help, much better than picking the phone to a contact advise centre.
I will reach out to a mediation centre however I don't think my ex will settle for anything less than a legal binding agreement (to waste my money away)
If anyone has any further input im more than happy to accept, its a big scary world when this happens to anyone!

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 23/10/2017 5:28 pm
superprouddad
(@superprouddad)
Reputable Member Registered

You have to be very careful with anything you say and/or do while this goes on. Hopefully you are able to sort things out in mediation which would be much easier on everyone.

If it goes to court, your ex will make allegations against you, and she would try to use whatever you say/do against you.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23/10/2017 7:30 pm
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