Non Molestation order??
I have had the worst year so far, Not sure where to start but i may need help with any of you chaps that may be in the same boat or have dealt with anything similar to me.
Im married but so happen to have played away for a good 4/ 5 years in that time i ended up having a child with the lady i was seeing on the side. Early this year i went round to see her as per usual also seeing my son and stayed over sat night to sunday. I was meant to go back on Monday evening to babysit my son and his half sibling brother, As i had not been at home sat to sunday it became difficult to leave my main home i share withe my wife so texted the side chic that i would not be coming. What happened next changed life cos i Dont trust any human beings anymore.
On that same tue i had police turn up at my house on a Rape Allegation!!! Yes app i had raped the the mother of my son. Anyway this dragged on i went thru all the swabbing a very embarrassing thing to have done. I was released on bail to return in about 3months. In that time i emailed that woman thinking maybe she would be much better and she may see sense cos she was destroying my life and guess what? I was further arrested for harrassment not once but 3times on allegations i didnt know whereby she claimed she was being rung on private number like come on why would i do that not only that why give you the attention. Anywhere begining of Oct 15 all cases where No further Actioned!! Not that i was happy cos you can only be happy of you've gotten away but i had never ever raped this woman so i was ok but not too happy. A week later after the No further Action i received summons for Non-molestation (injunction) from the courts thru this woman. Seriously how much damage is she trying to cause me. I feel shes trying to use the system as a mobster to bully me and guess what she was given a solicitor too. Well i went to court and on the hearing i refused all allegations she made and they were serious she even claims to fear for her life bla bla you can imagine all the [censored]! I will now be going for trial in january and it dont bother me but the main reason im on here is to find out How can i get to see my son? It can be through supervised or contact [censored] i dont care i just wanna see my boy and was wondering is there a way i could get access to see my lil man. I dont have much money even in court i will represent myself just need a loop hole to help me see my son legally.
Hi There,
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I have to say that I don't condone your behaviour and i actually feel you have acted in a way that means you have brought a lot of this on yourself, I guess a question that isn't related to your questions would be why would you feel the need to have another women on the side in the first place, but that isn't really relevant I guess.
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The most important part to all of this is your son, how you feel or how your female on the side feel isn't important though I do feel for your wife through all of this as she is also stuck with the fall out, and it's funny you haven't mentioned her at all.
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You will need to firstly try mediation with your childs mother to see if you can sort out some contact and if you aren't able to or she won't attend then you would need to apply to the family courts for an order to be written, I would imagine that you would possibly be granted supervised contact at a centre but each judge is different.
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There are no loop holes for you, you need to now stop with games and play everything by the book and if your very lucky you will come out the otherside and still have a relationship with your child.
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GTTS
Thanks for ur reply. Yes i agree i have done all this on myself but the main person im worried about at the moment is to see my son. I already have other kids with my wife and they are my life they mean the world to me they are very much daddies kids. I had a father growing up but when i think of my son who im not in contact with it hurts me a lot to think he will soon be two in a few weeks and doesnt know me as its been nearly 10months since he last saw me. I just wanna be a father to him so yeah will try the mediation way first and hope for the best.
Its wrong what i put my wife through but we are good now obviously had out ups and downs but we are very much in love and all is very well tho saying that i obviously cant speak to her about my son as it would just be like opening a can of worms.
Ok so with mediation can i go ahead and do it now or do i have to wait till the trial in January 16? I dont mind what sort of contact i get as long as i can cuddle my boy and be a daddy to him thats all that matters now. Also im not on the birth certificate but the court orders for non molestation state that its our son as they are sworn and signed.
Thanks in advance
You can start the ball rolling although the family court may want to adjourn until after the January court case finishes, as the outcome of that could have a bearing on their decisions about how to manage contact.
If you decide not to wait until the case in January concludes, you will have to speak to the mediator because there have been allegations of domestic violence made against you and an ongoing court case, they are likely to deem that mediation isn't suitable and will sign the C100 form to allow you to submit the application to court. You would be applying for a Child Arrangements Order for contact.
As you are not on the birth certificate you will also have to submit form C1 to apply for Parental Responsibility, this can be submitted at the same time as the C100 at no extra cost.
I can't offer you any sympathy, as you've put yourself in this situation, and saying that you can't trust human beings when you are the one who has been cheating is rather ironical. Having said all of that, it is about your children.
When you say you can't speak to your wife about your son - is she even aware he exists? If you are intending to go through mediation or the courts to get access, then nont speaking to your wife about this simply isn't an option in my opinion as it will take up a large part of your life while it's going on, and this is also going to have a big effect on the children you have with your wife. If, as you say, you and your wife still love each other, then you need to be able to speak to her, and I would also say that you should consider that your children should all know about each other, rather than find out when they are much older.
Lol you got issues way beyond mine mate, the topic is about trying to get contact for my son!! Who and how many women ive slept with is not the issue! I ain the first or last human being to have an affair your opinion is completley irrelevant and No i dont need no sympathy give your sympathy to someone that cares cos i Dont!! Yes i done wrong and im paying for it hence im on here so dont point the obvious dunno who you think you talking to. I know what to do from the two comments i got and im already acting on it. Go bully somebody else cos with me mate i aint having it an i dont want anybodys sympathy. So thanks for your comment but No thanks
I'm completely lost, Which child are you trying to see? Is it the child from the Woman who you are seeing on the side? if so how come you've not seen him for 10 months?.
I'm afraid there's no loop holes what so ever not at all it's already extremely difficult to gain access to your child without any Police involvement and having a completely clean record, it's an up hill battle if you have a non mol and any sort of Police involvement.
What MOJO has suggested is spot on and that's the only way you can properly try and be part of your sons life.
All the best
slim
Think my imagination of loop holes was wrong!! Im Not trying anything dodgy im gonna do this the legal way. Got a meeting with a mediator 27th of this month abd they will see me cos the allegations made were criminal offences which obviously where made up! As fat as violence ive never laid a finger or even pushed the the side chic. Oh in answer to ur question im trying to have contact with the child i have with the side chic. Me and wifey are good very good and doing well im lucky considering i have shat on her so much. Thanks for answer
oh not seen him cos of rape allegation which was NFA as bail conditions where to no contact the mother. Also can i add that shes BiPolar and been sectioned in the past tho during our time even tho i knew this she was cery much normal to me and all was well
Ah right I get it now, It's all well complicated, you'll have to be whiter than white from now on and try and not make the situation any worse just play everything by the book and don't put a foot wrong her solicitor will make your life very difficult with a rape allegation and a non mol so be careful.
I'm presuming your wife doesn't know about your son? She's bound to find out sooner or later does she not know about your affair?
She has a solicitor whos gonna try and rip me to beats but i never done nothing wrong with this woman and yes im going by the cameron book, all allegations ever made have been untrue!! So i cant see them being a prob. I will ipdate you on the whole case!.
Hi Jaystar,
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I think your reply to actd above was a bit strong, I agree with him that if your wife doesn't know about your child with the other women then she really needs to know, as do your children, if your relationship with your wife is going to work after all of this then you need to be completely open about everything. Of course she may already know but you again haven't mentioned her or your children with her so we don't know.
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No one is bullying you, just commenting on your post, you have to expect a certain amount of criticism due to your circumstances and how you have ended up where you are.
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GTTS