Hi
New to this site so I hope this is the right place to post.
I've recently found out that a girl I had a brief relationship with before Christmas is expecting my baby. I have an 8 year old boy already and am separated from his mother but I love being his Dad and have a reasonable relationship with his Mum.
Although relatively happy to be a Dad again and more than willing to meet my commitments, I can't help but feel a little frustrated that such a massive decision has been made without my input, given it affects my life massively too... If nothing else, this does not bode well for the future decision-making regarding 'our' baby.
Please let me know your thoughts
Thanks
Hi there
I agree with you, the position of fathers in modern society has been marginalised. You only have to read the posts here to realise that.
Lets hope that the mother will acknowledge the importance of having you in the child's life...try and be as involved as possible, difficult I know when you are no longer a couple.
Good luck
Much as I sympathise with your point of view, I think the decision to go ahead or not with the birth must always lie with the mother as ultimately anything else would be forcing some physical action (ie, either an abortion, or to go ahead with the birth) on her against her will, and - with very rare exceptions - that can never be right.
Of course, the best possible outcome is that there can be agreement between the parents as to what is going to happen but unfortunately, that isn't always going to happen where the relationship has broken down.
Thanks. I would never ask for that, I meant that by telling me so late it's not really giving me a say in matters concerning 'our' child an that does not bode well for the future. The decision is made, I'm having a baby. The mother got to make sense of things an weigh up her options, it's more black an white for me. I was daft to believe her contraception reassurance. I'll do the best I can.
Ah, sorry, that was a misunderstanding on my part - yes, I can see your point about preparation for the future.