Wife and I have 2 girls. 3yrs and 1 yr. I work at a manufacturing plant and work a swing shift. I get seven days off in a month. My wife works 30 hrs a week at a bank. She comes home and plops in her chair to watch tv. I know dealing with people all day is a mental strain. I come home from my day shift and usually clean and do things with the girls. When I'm on second shift I clean and play with the girls then go to work from 2-10 pm. Third shift I get in bed by 7 am and get up at eleven and clean and play with the girls til their bed time then I go back to work. On my off days I clean or work on projects. When my wife is off she just sits in her chair and watches tv. It seems to me that she thinks a day off from the bank is a day off from kids and house work. When I bring up the stuff she doesn't do I get accused of not doing it either when I use all my off time to clean and do stuff for the girls. I'm tired of coming home to a dirty house and getting I was going to clean but ( insert generic excuse here) and she is plopped in front of Netflix binge watching. I'm stressed and don't know what to do. I don't have time for friends anymore so it's just me and my thoughts.
Hi There,
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It's understandable you feel the way you do and I think anyone would, your working full time and keeping the house sorted, I do similar, though my wife does work full time and leaves the house an hour earlier than I do (we then get home at the same time), only difference with my situation is that she works flat out all day wheres as I'm not always busy at work.
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That said I get the same as you excuses when she has a week off work at home and i'm at work, things don't get done and it will be "I didn't have time" or "I wasn't feeling great"
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At times I just don't do the housework, and leave it so it builds up, I don't like things to be that way but sometimes, I get fed up as you do, not sure if that's something that would work for you, or if your partner would still just leave it.
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If you are having trouble talking, maybe some couples counselling would help, so that you can talk about the issues your having with someone to stop things getting out of hand.
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GTTS
That's what I usually do. I'll leave the stuff laying where it is. I'm in the maintenance division at my job so we stay busy. Sometimes by relief doesn't come in and I pull a double or we have big problems and the draft us to stay an extra shift. Like in the kitchen. The trash can is in the kitchen but the trash gets left on the island. It's too hard to but it in the bin I guess. As for counseling she seems to think we don't need it. I've asked her before and she said she doesn't want a third party in our business.
Perhaps draw up a rota - if she thinks she cleans etc, then it should be no problem. Or allocate specific chores to each of you.