Background. Brother is a bit of a nightmare relationship-wise. One divorce, three kids from two different partners. Currently got a new girlfriend.
First two kids he never sees and doesnt care - very sad. His last one he does see.
Has had lots of problems with his ex-partner. Shes an alcoholic, lost her licence drink driving etc. Social have been involved a few times.
They called him the other day and asked him if he could have custody of his daughter temporarily. Apparenly, there was some alcohol related issue with the mother.
Dad was telling me this. Apparently, he said no because its awkward with work. Kid has ended up at her grandparents house. Dad actually agreed with him and said "well hes got to go to work hasn't he?"
I must admit to being a bit flabbergasted. If it was me, I'd do whatever it took. Take time off work, work something out, get a different job if needs be. Anything to make sure my child was ok. In fact, I'd be moving heaven and earth and fighting for custody knowing what the mother was like.
Its just sickening. Am I right?
...we're all different and without knowing your brother I would be loathe to judge. In his position I would of stepped up, but perhaps he doesn't feel confident or able to take it on, if he is in doubt then she will be better off with her grandparents right now.
Hi There,
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I agree, without 100% commitment then she is possibly better off where she is, as she would probably have a bond and relationship with them already.
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GTTS
...we're all different and without knowing your brother I would be loathe to judge. In his position I would of stepped up, but perhaps he doesn't feel confident or able to take it on, if he is in doubt then she will be better off with her grandparents right now.
Dont think its confidence its more of a "too much hassle" with him. Its a bit sad to be honest....
Hi There,
.
I think as said above if he isn't in the way to want to look after his children then the best place for them is probably with grandparents, other wise it would all be forced and not really work.
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GTTS
...it's difficult, some people just aren't equipped to take it on, in much the same way as caring for elderly parents, it's a very personal decision and one size doesn't fit all. I would say cut him some slack on his decision, he's probably feeling bad about his decision.
...it's difficult, some people just aren't equipped to take it on, in much the same way as caring for elderly parents, it's a very personal decision and one size doesn't fit all. I would say cut him some slack on his decision, he's probably feeling bad about his decision.
Cheers Mojo - nah he ain;t feeling bad. He does have access to his daughter but he just treats is as a nice to do thing then back to his girlfriend.
Different kids from another partner (she was a bit of a nutter) a few years ago. She upped and took the kids one day and refused to give him access. He put it all on facebook etc etc. I tried to help him and found out he could lodge a form with the court for about £200. He never bothered and Dad agreed with him that he couldnt afford it. (In reality, £200 is a few nights out on the beer for him).
To be honest, I try not to get into conversations with my Dad about it because he sticks up for him. "How is he going to look after her and go to work".
Yeh none of my nusiness but she is my niece....
It is a shame for your niece, but this is, unfortunately, your brother's decision to make.
I know someone who's ex didn't have annything to do with his daughter, but his brother had a very good relationship with her (and her mother), so you could still try despite your brother if you wanted to give it s go.