DAD.info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
Girlfriend allowed ...
 
Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] Girlfriend allowed access to my daughter?

 
(@James88)
Active Member Registered

Hello, recently social services contacted my daughters mother because of an argument I had with my girlfriend which resulted in her brother phoning the police.
Can social services actually stop my daughter from seeing my girlfriend or would it have to go court to allow this to happen?

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 25/11/2018 1:24 am
 actd
(@actd)
Illustrious Member

Have Children's services actually said that this must happen? If so, I really recommend that you don't go against their recommendation as it will go to court and not only will access be restricted between your daughter and your girlfriend, but they may also then place limitations on you if they think you won't cooperate. At this stage, you really don't want to be making an enemy of children's services.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/11/2018 2:11 am
(@James88)
Active Member Registered

Thanks for the reply, my ex partner has told me that is what social services have said, I haven’t actually spoken to them myself. But I am going to contact them and see what has been said. My girlfriend isn’t a bad person or a danger to my daughter and my daughter wants to continue to see her and misses her a lot.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 25/11/2018 3:34 am
(@Big Daddy Bane)
Active Member Registered

Immediately dump your girlfriend.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/11/2018 3:12 pm
(@James88)
Active Member Registered

I really don’t think that is an option for me to just dump my girlfriend.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 25/11/2018 3:41 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Speak to Social Services and see what they say, put it to them that your gf has a great relationship with your daughter and poses no risk to her, hopefully they will accept that.

Some other scenarios for you to think about...

They can recommend that your child’s mother stops contact with the gf and the onus would be on you to agree.

If there’s no court proceedings, they would probably use their powers to put pressure on you and the mother, by placing your daughter as a child in need, or more seriously on the child protection register, where they would then monitor and make decisions based on multi agency meetings.

Once they decide on a care plan and you go against it, they do have powers to take it further, they would probably tell the mother to stop all contact with you and encourage court action to back it up.

Just my opinion... all the best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 25/11/2018 6:01 pm
James88 and James88 reacted
(@James88)
Active Member Registered

Thanks for the reply, I am going to get in touch with them and find out what has actually been said, but the fact that they haven’t been in touch with me, makes me wonder if they have stopped my daughter having contact with my girlfriend or not.
As my ex (my daughter’s Mam) has done everything she could to try and split us up in the past.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 25/11/2018 11:09 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

That’s the best bet, you’re only getting it from your ex’s side, perhaps not the most reliable source...although it’s slightly worrying that Social Services contacted your ex, you would think they would also contact you, but that doesn’t always happen.

Best of luck with it and let us know how you got on.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 26/11/2018 1:58 am
James88 and James88 reacted
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

Absolutely agree with Mojo. Give Childrens Services a call as a start.

Best of luck and let us know what they say.....

ReplyQuote
Posted : 27/11/2018 12:31 am
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Thanks for the reply, I am going to get in touch with them and find out what has actually been said, but the fact that they haven’t been in touch with me, makes me wonder if they have stopped my daughter having contact with my girlfriend or not.
As my ex (my daughter’s Mam) has done everything she could to try and split us up in the past.

Did you manage to speak to them James88... hope you’ve got it sorted. 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 30/11/2018 3:31 pm
(@James88)
Active Member Registered

Hello, having been told by my ex that social services had put my daughter on there list as ‘in danger’ and stopping contact with me and my girlfriend. I rang SS and they have no record of my daughter and have said that they have no power to stop access and that I would have to take her to court if she continues stopping me seeing my daughter. So basically she was lying to me and everyone else.... this is brilliant news to me as my daughter is not on social services radar and she is not in any danger when she is with me.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 03/12/2018 9:11 pm
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

I can understand why you’re feeling positive about this news, but it doesn’t alter the fact that the ex has stopped contact and it may well take a court case to get it reinstated.

Your first step would be mediation to try and sort this out, she may well maintain the stance that your gf isn’t suitable company for your daughter, so I would try and think of ways to solve this... perhaps agree to some supervised contact with a trusted family member present, so that they can see that your gf and child get on well and there is nothing to worry about.

All the best

ReplyQuote
Posted : 04/12/2018 12:34 am
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest