Hi guys so I have just gained access back to my little girl aged 8 now after 17 months of [censored].. court hearing after court hearing but finally justice. I am now facing a new issue and it's really painful for me. Before my ex stopped me seeing my girl I saw her all the time, she was my best friend and I had such a close relationship with her. The last time I saw her before the ex stopped my access she ran towards me after school asking if she was staying with me. Now 17 months later, after seeing her in contact centres and now unsupervised weekends days and soon to be nights my little girl Just isn't the same. She seems nervous, low and not bright and cheerful like before. I haven't received a hug from her yet or any affection which I find really hard. When I collect her her wants to be with her cousins who are her age on my side of the family .. which is fine but it makes me rejected. This weekend was the 2nd unsupervised since court finished. I just wish she was the child I knew.. the one who adored me. Am I expecting to much? Anyone else been here?
Hi there
It’s difficult for you both, but it’s been a long time in her little life and she’s had a lot of change to deal with. That bright, cheerful little girl is still there, just give her time and she will return I’m sure.
Through no fault of your own, she too probably feels rejected, as an adult you can assimilate you feelings, she doesn’t have the ability to do that, she probably feels confused and just as sad as you do too.
Be patient with her, be the dad she knows, keep things light and easy but let her know that you love her... lots of reassurance and no pressure. Things will get better.
Best of luck
I agree with Mojo, it is going to take time and it must have been a very sad and confusing time for your daughter. Be patient and I'm sure all will be well again......
Reflecting on it all I've seen her for maybe 13 hours in 17 months with the contact centre and now the 2nd weekend since court finished.. This will continue to progress for longer lengths of time as we go along.. but I guess I'm expecting to much.. she's only going to of heard negative info about me for 17 months and to expect her to be the same is me kidding myself.. sometimes I want to hug her but I feel like she may feel uncomfortable.. I just wish my ex hadn't stopped me seeing her because it's massively impacted on my little girl... i can only be patient, remain consistent and love her through it all.
...you could ask her if it's ok to give her a hug... she may be feeling as awkward about it as you.
It's going to take time, but it also may be that her mother is telling her stories about you, so she's still possibly conflicted between what her mother is telling her and what she's actually experiencing herself. Give it time, and she'll come back around.