[Solved] New Dad ... What should I be doing???

Hi Calito10,
I think you've already done a really big supportive thing by moving so she can have her family nearby.
You'll already know the things which your girlfriend likes, so I would start with simple things like getting her to have a lie in at the weekend and give her a cup of tea; or give her feet a massage after a long day at work; or a shoulder rub to relieve the tension in her back and neck.
She will probably feel supported if she senses that you understand about being pregnant and baby arriving. On the NHS website there is an area for pregnancy and by clicking around you can get intersting things like: whats going on during the different weeks of pregnancy; pictures of baby as it develops through the various weeks; and practical info like you'll probably start antenatal classes about 8 to 10 weeks before baby arrives. At least that will cover some of your questions about what to expect (it is written for Mums). I hope other Dad Talk members can give you the Dad's side of things as you post over time.
This is the main Pregnancy Planner.
And on that page you can click on Your Pregnancy and Labour.
Its been sooooo many years since my missus was last pregnant that I've forgotton so much (our 'babies' are now in their twenties).
Keep posting.

Hi

I do understand how you are feeling but as already mentioned, I think you are being hugely supportive, moving to where her family are.

Whilst it's true to say that men can sometimes feel a little sidelined when their partner is pregnant and feel they aren't as involved as they might be, but it needn't be the case. There are things you can do to support your partner. Sometimes taking a long-term view of the pregnancy, which can be difficult for your partner because everything is so immediate for her. You can bring this sense of perspective as you are move removed from the process. Go with her for scans and attend antenatal classes. It will help to keep you informed and allow youi to share the worries. Take over more of the everyday tasks around the house, perhaps taking more of the workload.
Most importantly, you need to keep talking. This will help ensure that the pregnancy is a shared experience and things will hopefully go that much smoother as a result.

I do hope that you manage to find employment soon too.

I hope this helps.

Hi,

Thanks for the advice, I have been reading different books that have been given to us, from the mid-wife and from friends, but its also really good to hear from people that have "been there" and "done it".

Its a really weird situation to be in as i really want to know and feel what she's going thru, so i can support her, and understand whats happening. She's the hardest person to talk to at the best of times as she's not keen on telling people how she feels and in some ways im probably the one who has the "emotion" and im always telling her to open up more.

I plan on going to all the classes with her, but i think her mom would really like to go to some of them with her, which isnt a problem for me, but in some ways i feel that this lessens how much involvment im having with her and the baby, im not sure. Its a going to be an interesting few months, as we reach half way thru. All in al tho, very excited. (i sound like a little kid when i read that back)

im sure there will be more to follow this post, as we get closer im going to be spilling my insides out onto this site !!

hi calito10,
i think its brilliant that you are so excited - i definitely get as excited as you seem to be.
What you say about you and your girlfriend sounds really similar to us. my wife approaches things logically and doesn't show her emotions, whilst I approach things emotionally and can spot in hindsight that I had missed the blatently obvious part of a situation (if I had thought before I acted).

one way of supporting your girlfriend might be to discover her 'love language'. Once you know that it can help you to put some intentional effort into how you show her that you love her. Here's a link to a website I found useful as a taster http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/
An example from my life: I used to give my wife small gifts out of the blue and she seemed to name no response and perhaps put the item in a cupboard without using it; I then discovered her love language was 'quality time' - now a make a point of (almost) sitting on my hands to make sure that I listen to her conversations more attentively than I used to. As months go by i forget to listen properly and from time to time i have to be more intentional about it.
I found the love languages useful. Hearing you lean toward the 'emotional' side I wonder whether this is the type of thing that you would value having a go at.

cheers for now
/orange

Hi Calito10

Sounds like you are being very supportive with what you have done so far. Just keep being there for her.
With my first I found the baby centre website very useful - http://www.babycentre.co.uk/ - especially if you sign up for their regular newsletters which are sent weekly/monthly to match the pregnancy and the first couple of years once the little one is born. I always found it helpful to tell her what I had read, although if your gf does not seem enthusiastic about it bear with her, as I remember my wife's comments - "it feels like I have an alien in me" 🙂