Hi guys
This is my first post. I hope people can offer me advice.
Basically i have been in an emotionally & psychologically abusive relationship for nearly 6 years. Married for 6 months until my wife left me.
I am being supported by Victim Support for the emotional & controlling abuse i have been subjected to by my wife.
Last week i found out my wife put an ex Parte Non Molestation order against me, which i am contesting.
The first hearing is in 1 weeks time, and i’m very nervous. I have a barrister representing me.
Can somebody tells me what happens at the first Non Molestation hearing, and what happens when i contest it?
Gary
Hi Gary
I'm really sorry that you have had to endure domestic abuse, it happens to men more than we realise and it really helps when victims feel strong enough to share their experience, it's a subject that we should talk about more often, so thank you for your strength.
It's often the case that the perpetrator will play the victim, you must have been shocked when you received the paperwork, hopefully Victim Support are providing you extra support through this.
You have a barrister, so most of the hard work is being done for you, but it's nerve wracking nonetheless. It's likely the court will try and encourage you to accept an undertaking, they are likely to advise that the length of time a contested case takes, it's probably as quick to "do the time" with a lesser undertaking, where you haven't accepted wrongdoing.
In my opinion, if you're innocent then fight your corner, especially if you can prove that the allegations are false. As you're being helped by Victim Support you can show that you are actually the victim and hopefully you will be successful.
If there are children involved, and an undertaking is agreed upon, try and make sure there's provision within the NMO to allow for contact handovers, and communication concerning important issues concerning the children, perhaps by email.
If you go for a fully contested hearing, she will be asked for a list of allegations that you will then respond to, you will both be required to provide statements along with evidence to back up your case, your barrister will take care of that.
It might be helpful if you provide a brief position statement to take with you to the court, just to explain a little of the history, your concerns, mentioning that you are being supported by Victim Support and that has been ongoing since before the ex parte was made. Then a little about what you would like to happen.
All the best
Hi
I agree with mojo's advice above to contest since you are innocent. Are there children involved? If not, then I would have thought that you contest this, and also apply for a divorce citing unreasonable behaviour. There is a cost for the divorce application but if she wants to contest the grounds and make a counter application, then she's going to have to pay a second application fee.
Hi
I agree with all the above. It's good that you've got a barrister to help you. Wishing you luck. Let us know how you get on.