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[Solved] Being a Stay at Home Dad is great but...

 
hongkong100
(@hongkong100)
New Member Registered

I posted on this forum about a year ago seeing if there were any other stay at home Dads out there but didn't get much joy.
So, a year on with a 21 month old boy now, I thought I'd get involved again. It's great to be able to bring up little one while my wife works, but I'm finding the lack of adult company during the day, especially in the form of other dads, increasingly tough. We do a lot of activities and meet loads of Mums, (yep and I've heard all the gags about yummy mummies from mates, etc, but hey the reality is different right?) Anyone experiencing something similar? Any ideas as how to meet other Dads with very young children? I'm thinking I should/could be creating my own group. Anyone got experience of doing this? Cheers

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Topic starter Posted : 21/10/2013 3:13 pm
JoeWinter
(@JoeWinter)
Trusted Member Registered

Hi there,

I was the prime carer for my son after my wife went back to work. This was around 6 years ago and we lived in London at the time. I understand what you say re lack of adult company - it can get mundane sometimes. I would go to regular groups with him - there was a music group and a local play group. I also took him to weekly swimming lessons. Although it was mostly mums there were usually a few other dads there too. Over time and especially once he started to develop a greater sense of those around him and formed some early friendships, we found a few people we would meet up with - visiting playgrounds, museums, cinema etc. This provided more adult company for me while at the same time giving him a lot of fun. I understand the feeling of standing out as a Dad in this situation but found that i soon got used to it - as it turned out most of the adult friends i made were mothers and female child minders. It didn't bother me but did get the odd jokey comment from some of my male friends.

Hope this is helpful.

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Posted : 23/10/2013 7:46 pm
husna liked
Goonerplum
(@Goonerplum)
Noble Member Registered

Hi hongkong100,

You should get chatting with new member JohnW. Check out his welcome thread here

Gooner.

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Posted : 25/10/2013 2:03 pm
MrChilled
(@MrChilled)
Active Member Registered

hey there 😀

i spent 2 years full time at home with very small children and found it very hard not to be working during the final months especially. dont get me wrong i loved spending time with the kids but i dont think people really appreciate how hard it can be for a guy to be in that position. All of my friends were at work and it could be very lonely at times. like you say its a bit different for women with their coffee mornings and other groups but for us men its a different kettle of fish. i now have shared residency of mine and they are much older at 8 and 10, but still its a bit tricky as i dont mix with the school mums and nor do i want to to be honest as my word can they gossip..i made the mistake to be chatty with one once who turned up for coffee and within 10 mins was telling me about all these affairs she'd had!! im no the quickest parent in the playground come 3pm!!

its nice to hear of similar experiences, im enjoying this site already 🙂

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Posted : 01/11/2013 5:57 pm
husna
(@husna)
New Member Registered

Hello there fathers,

I am a dissertation student at a university, i am currently researching ' the role of a fathers in the child's cognitive development'. I would really appreciate if you guys could share you experience as an involved father, what kind of activities you do with your children (e.g take them to playgroup, park etc), how have you built that caring attachment with your child, how your child responds to you, how do you like to play with your child/ren (rough and tumble for example, if they are in their early years), how do you really challenge your child's thinking, how do you teach you children the basic knowledge for example daily objects, colours, numbers, names etc. Last but not least how do you as a father feel about you role.

Thank you

I would really appreciate the information, also any information that you provided will be treated as confidential.

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Posted : 03/12/2013 2:18 am
clyde
(@clyde)
Active Member Registered

.i made the mistake to be chatty with one once who turned up for coffee and within 10 mins was telling me about all these affairs she'd had!!

Sounds interesting!
Many folk would have jumped at the chance of a jump.

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Posted : 04/12/2013 1:56 am
actd
 actd
(@actd)
Illustrious Member

Hello there fathers,

I am a dissertation student at a university, i am currently researching ' the role of a fathers in the child's cognitive development'. I would really appreciate if you guys could share you experience as an involved father, what kind of activities you do with your children (e.g take them to playgroup, park etc), how have you built that caring attachment with your child, how your child responds to you, how do you like to play with your child/ren (rough and tumble for example, if they are in their early years), how do you really challenge your child's thinking, how do you teach you children the basic knowledge for example daily objects, colours, numbers, names etc. Last but not least how do you as a father feel about you role.

Thank you

I would really appreciate the information, also any information that you provided will be treated as confidential.

Hi Husan

Have you spoken to the Admin's about this?

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Posted : 05/12/2013 1:57 am
badger
(@badger)
Active Member Registered

hi there badger here i am feeling what your saying about the whole dads avail to chat thing i found it rather hard when my late angel was with me and i was out with him and my son .i found that i got loads of attention form the mums and elders but very little if none from the other dads it is like dads want to be secret and are too shy to chat as it will ruin their macho street cred image !!! i mean comon men we are all dads and all angels for our children so drop the shy hard mean image and start chatting as we are all thinking the same thing ,if the mums can do it why the hell cant we get together for coffee chats or lunch/ big breakfast chat with our kids and little angels ??? i am now going to go through it again with my rainbow baby and also suffer the split between my dead baby and him , i know that there are loads of you out there going through this yourselves and need comfort and help with other dads that are in the same or have been in the same boat at some point in your life so as you can see by my pic that even me an ex prisoner and squaddie hard man needs time and help to be a dad for my kids and i cannot do this with my soon to be ex wifes help alone i need another dads point of view and understanding as a man going through this as a man so if there are any of you that want to chat or get together please say yes !!!its that easy cheers peeps and god blesswith big hugs no kisses though :))

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Posted : 27/01/2014 10:19 pm
windyhill1984cg
(@windyhill1984cg)
Active Member Registered

Man this is going to be me in 2 weeks time when Im a single dad looking after my newborn daughter. Dnnt get em wrong I am really excited about being a dad again (I have three already) but there literally seems like I am the only one in my town who is going to be a full time single dad main carer.

I find it realy hard to talk to other mums not through shyness but I feel like the think I am chatting them up - sometimes almost feel like lying and saying im gay!

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Posted : 01/06/2015 2:10 pm
actd
 actd
(@actd)
Illustrious Member

- sometimes almost feel like lying and saying im gay!

Not to be recommended - I have a friend who is gay and he's the one on my facebook who is always surrounded by stunning women. Nice in theory, but if you're not gay, at some point you're going to have to admit it 😀

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Posted : 04/06/2015 12:08 am
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