Hi,
The police and my solicitor have both advised me that is fine to record the audio of any conversations that take place between me and my ex. I appreciate there is the chance that the court will decide not to pay any attention to it, but I feel with everything else that goes on, which I document, it might help.
I have emailed my ex to let her know that I will be doing this from now on, so that I am not recording her without her knowing.
She has now replied saying she does not give her consent to record her, and that if I choose to ignore that, then I am to make the recording device visible at all times, so that she can see it and make sure she does not talk to me (her words).
I'm due to pick my daughter up tomorrow lunch time, which I was going to record. I was under the impression I don't need consent, and only had to let her know it was happening. Any one know about this?
I've sent you a private message.
Its a grey area I’m afraid, Whilst there’s nothing illegal , she could take out a civil case and you could open yourself up to a harrasssment order. Although she doesn’t need to see it to understand that it is recording, having it visible could effect the child.
As it’s on record that you have sought advice on this, I doubt you would be penalised.
It’s often useful for both parties where handovers are fractious, can you put it to her that it’s for her protection too.
Thanks both for your comments/private message.
My solicitor emailed to say she wouldn't recommend it, but it was up to me. When I speak to her on Monday I will ask why. The last thing I want is to unwittingly make things worse for myself when all the evidence is in my favour right now.
Mojo - when you say you don't think I would be penalised because I've sought advice, do you mean if I went ahead with the recordings I wouldn't be penalised, or I wouldn't be penalised if I now changed my mind and didn't record anything, having sought advice?
At the moment I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it, and thinking about emailing my ex to say I won't be going ahead with the recordings. But I'm worried that the fact that I considered it might be used against me in court.
Why did you want to record the conversations in the first place? If she is being abusive in any way, then wouldn't displaying the recorder prevent this, which is ultimately a better solution. I would be inclined to go ahead with wearing it, as I can't see any way it can be used against you - you have been open about wanting to record the conversations, and ideally all of the conversations should be presentable in court.
I wanted to record them partly for my own well being, because with any luck she would ease up on the harassment and abuse, but then if she does carry on, it's recorded as evidence. I too find it hard to believe that the recordings would be used against me, but these are the stories I keep hearing.
I meant that as you have been upfront with her about recording handovers, it shouldn't be a problem later on down the line, say if she bought it up in court. The fact that you considered it shouldn't be used against you either, as you have been transparent.
I think a lot of the scare stories are about covert recording, there's case law concerning a father whose stitched a camera into a child's clothes, which was viewed very badly by the court and he lost his case. There has also been cases where the mother being recorded was succcessful with a non mol application because of it.
However there are members that have been able to use recordings to back up their case, or have admitted their use without being penalised for it.... as I said, it's a grey area.
I can totally understand why you want to record, it's useful as a form of protection when there have been false accusations. The reason handovers are ordered in public places have an element of this protection because of cctv.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
If you are hoping that she will ease up on you, then I would definitely say to record, and be very open about it. It will achieve exactly what you are after.
Thanks for everyone's input. Having spoken to my solicitor, I've decided it's best not to go ahead with recording for the time being. If I don't get the extra protection I'm hoping to get from these court proceedings, then I can always come back to the recording thing. I guess if another police log needs to be made because my ex continues to fire off at me, it won't hurt my case.