Hello All,
I would like to know what sorts of arrangement people have in place to see their kids? (Having been through court)
I am just wondering what is fair and how would I go approach my 2nd court appearence having been through supervised contact previously... what would I request for next? Overnight stay? / Take him home?
Just wondering on opnions of what I could ask for as currently I am seeing my child weekly via contact centre for couple hours...
I have good reports from CAFCASS and Reports from Contact Centre..
Look forward to hearing from you all.
The next step is unsupervised contact outside the contact centre. I suggest putting together a schedule of increasing contact that is thoughtful of both the child and mother. Some people put forward a couple of alternatives, different days and times for example.
Stick to the same day, but out of the contact centre, start with half a day and increase that to a full day after 4 weeks. After another 4 weeks, if its going well, suggest an overnight ...small steps, with each step given time to see how it goes, until you have reached a full weekend.
Once you have weekends established, introduce a midweek visit too.
you know when you say 'unsupervised' contact does that mean I can take him anywhere such as my home? That include family?
I will be putting together an schedule of increased hours to.
Yes that's right....if you feel that may be refused then you could suggest a family member to supervise for the first few weeks, but generally once supervised contact has gone well for a good period of time some judges expect it to go to unsupervised.
When you say supervised contact, do you mean supported contact in a contact centre or was there a support worker monitoring your sessions and recording them on a one to one basis?
Yeah I meant contact centre with a person from the contact centre supervising. Which has been going very well. Recording everything. My interaction and my childs interaction with me.
I am thinking after this supervised contact has completed I should therefore take it unsupervised and introduce family members back into my childs life correct? Any ideas of how I could do this?
What you talk about is supervised contact, the court might want to move that to supported contact within the CC as the next step....I would ask for contact to be moved forward out of the centre, but be prepared for a short period of supported contact within the centre, depending on how cautious the court is.
Supported contact is where you would be in a room, possibly with other families, with no reports being done and staff only a presence if needed.
I am not sure about supported contact ...
CAFCASS gave me a good report and have confirmed there is no interest for them .... I agreed with my EX proposal in court to take their option inside court to see my son firstly via contact centre. I had no problem with that as I knew it would go in my favour for agreeeing without the judge being involved.
Contact Centre ... there is a lady/man who writes everything down... how we get on etc.. the reports so far have been very promising ... Even change his nappies when he poos etc. My child doesnt cry and gets on with me well etc.
So I am thinking would the unsupervised would make sense because I am no threat or have criminal record etc.. so should be ok to take him out the centre
I'm just covering all the bases for you, so that you can be prepared for all scenarios.
There are two types of contact within the CC...supervised and supported, you have been on supervised contact if there has been a support worker writing everything down. Supported contact is far less intrusive and nothing is written down.
Ultimately the decision is the judges, but if the reports are good and CAFCASS dont need to be involved, then a move outside of the CC unsupervised is a good possibility.
Go for contact at say your house on a saturday for 2 hours each week for 6 weeks then move to a full afternoon/morning for another 6 weeks then move to all day for another 6 weeks until you build up to a full weekend and as MOJO has suggested.
By that time hopefully you and your ex can start to work together she may start getting used to the break and become more relaxed concerning you having little one you may find you come to an agreement sooner rather than later but it take work from both sides.
The courts will start to push you both into agreeing something at the next hearing for the sake of your child they were excellent mediators in my case and managed to talk my ex round to the schedule of contact I've just suggested that's from her point blank refusing any contact out the centre.
Your case is very like mine we both didn't see our child for the same length of time, our children are the same age and our ex's could be sisters lol
Even though you shouldn't have to I felt like my ex had to build her trust back up in me to take care of little one and seeing as they are so young they are very possessive so a gradual build up of contact as suggested with slowly gain her trust as MOJO said take it as baby steps.
My ex was still a cow bag for the first few months but I just grinned and bared it we ended up going from 2 hours every week to all weekend every week within 4 months it's worked out cool for be as my step daughter is disabled and she requires more time so when I have my daughter the ex can concentrate on her sister and my SD enjoys time with her mum alone my ex has admitted she wouldnt go to every other weekend so we've left it every weekend fri-mon morning now it suits us both 🙂
Slim 🙂