Yeah ive heard that somewhere and read it on gov website but that's if she contributes to the mortgage I think, but the house is in my name as she never wanted to get a joint mortgage or anything joint so I just feel like a stepping stone as I found out that She's friends again with her ex fiancee but the messages I've seen deem it to be a lot closer than just friends...
If you own the house and your name is on the deeds of the house (i.e. you are not joint owners) then it belongs to you, until legally you decide otherwise.
As for who lives in - this should be the subject of your divorce proceedings. IT sounds like you need to make sure you have a settlement in place. This will allow you to sort out your own living arrangements.
As for making sure you child inherits anything from you, this will need to made clear by making a will.
If you are divorced - then you will need to make clear you intend your child to be your main beneficiary.
The advice I gave earlier could help you in the short term You need to make sure your ex partner/yourself is getting all the state financial support you are entitled to - see here www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/article...f-you-are-separating
You may also be entitled to housing benefit - which you or your ex can do via your local authority.
These can help bring your immediate expenses down.
Long term you will need - a divorce settlement with a formal maintenance payment plan in place.
The maintenance plan will only allow for your child, you should not be subsidising your partner's spending - new cars etc. I would try and focus on getting a settlement, it's tough I know.
Let us know if you need any more advice.
Hi,
My wife has started divorce proceedings and has asked me to move out. The house and mortgage is in joint names and we have two kids.
She has got into a serious amount of personal debt so despite us both working full time all my earnings pay the household bills, she contributes little. I have no spare money and
We have no savings and my family live 70 miles away from my work. I also have fibromyalgia so I just don’t think I could cope with a 140 mile a day commute. I’m stuck in an awful atmosphere and she’s trying to turn to turn the kids against me. She keeps threatening to have me evicted as I’m damaging the kids by being here!! I can’t afford to rent anywhere and I don’t trust her to sell up if i did.
Any advice appreciated.
Hi MJ7
First thing - your wife cannot sell up without your consent if you both own the property.
Starting proceedings will mean your finances will be split- any arrangement will have to make sure your children are housed but what concerns me is your partners debt. Can you tell me a bit more please.
Thanks for your response. She has built up approx £40k of personal credit card debt and her business owes about £10k, she says on family expenses, I say on herself.
She receives a lot of mail - I suspect she has fallen behind with payments.
Because the bulk of her earnings service her debt and her car lease she contributes very little to the household expenses and usually takes money from the joint account that I pay 90% of my earnings into, that the direct debits go out of for the mortgage, council tax etc.
I’m totally stressed out as my job states I cannot come to any arrangement with any creditors without jeopardising my professional qualifications. I can’t afford to rent and pay the bills for the household. Help!
I would contact www.stepchange.org as soon as possible - they are a debt management charity so they may be able to help work out the best plan possible given your circumstances and restrictions.
The silver lining is that her debts appear to be in her name and are not secured on your property; i.e not a second charge loan.
Apologies for the delay in replying - I had a norovirus (kindly given by my children who went back to school last week).
Stepchange is your best bet.
I'm wondering if some form of mediation might be worthwhile. Would you say your wife's debts may have contributed to the breakdown of your relationship? You don't need to go into detail but it sounds like she's got herself into aquite a financial hole.
If I buy a house and I'm not divorced is my wife still entitled to future purchases, we are separated?
Thanks for your response. I’ve just seen it. Hope you’re feeling better.
I asked about mediation but she’s not interested she’s filed for divorce and that’s it. To be honest I’m not sure I could ever trust her again.
She contacted Stepchange already but doesn’t appear to have got very far.
The debts are mostly in her name apart from the mortgage and one joint loan that I guaranteed for her.
I’m just going crazy living here and not having any money or anywhere to move out. If I default on the mortgage then that has repercussions for my work.
She threatens me that she’ll have me evicted because I’m verbally abusing her - when actually I’m just standing my ground and not leaving, This is just making me so depressed and I feel so bad for the kids 🙁
If I buy a house and I'm not divorced is my wife still entitled to future purchases, we are separated?
Hi there
It’s not a good idea to post on another users thread as it can get overlooked, as appears to be the case here.
I think any assets you have at the time of you divorce would form part of a financial settlement. It’s probably wise to consider a clean break order as part of the divorce, this would mean that she wouldn’t have any future claims on you after the divorce has been finalised.
Thanks for your response. I’ve just seen it. Hope you’re feeling better.
I asked about mediation but she’s not interested she’s filed for divorce and that’s it. To be honest I’m not sure I could ever trust her again.
She contacted Stepchange already but doesn’t appear to have got very far.
The debts are mostly in her name apart from the mortgage and one joint loan that I guaranteed for her.
I’m just going crazy living here and not having any money or anywhere to move out. If I default on the mortgage then that has repercussions for my work.
She threatens me that she’ll have me evicted because I’m verbally abusing her - when actually I’m just standing my ground and not leaving, This is just making me so depressed and I feel so bad for the kids 🙁
I think you have to be very careful about any type of confrontation, even if its a matter of standing your ground, it would be quite easy for her to obtain an occupation order, and also a non molestation order too, which would make things more difficult for you. I would avoid contact with her, if you have a separate room, use it to put space between you, try not to be around when sh is... not at all easy I know, when you’re living under the same roof.
Could you speak to your mortgage provider about the possibility of interest only payments to allow you to sort your accommodation out, or perhaps a 3month “holiday”from payments? Obviously they will want the mortgage covered and that will be their priority.
It might be a good idea to talk to your boss about your predicament too and see if they can offer any advice about your situation.
Best of luck