Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
Clear all

What to expect

New Member Registered


I have my first hearing in september for finaces

currently my Ex is living in the family home with my 3 kids 2 adults 19 and 23 both working and a 17 year old at college and working part time

she got me forced out in December 2019 when called police accused me of DA weeks after I said we need a divorce and sell and split equity 



since 2019 I payed the mortgage as its in my name only it was £800 pm 

she agreed at first to pay 1/2 and didn't want child support 

after a month she applied to Csa they said I must pay £400 pm 
I suggested why dont I just pay the mortgage then and dont pay csa 

she said no

so every month £800 mortgage and £400 csa left my bank then she paid me £400 towards mortgage 

that lasted 2 months 

then she stopped paying her 1/2 

so I said I wont pay the £400 csa as I am paying the £800 mortgage 

this went on a whiile and then one day I noticed that the Csa had taked £4k from my business account and given it to her

they wouldn't take the fact I was paying the mortgage since 2019 and was living on friends sofas 

they nust said she isnt on mortgage and kept saying that I am going to benefit when it sells 

When mortgage intest rated went up the mortgage went to £1100 pm I told her that she needs to call Csa off and pay some toward the mortgage or I will defult as can't afford to pay it as my work has been effected massively since spit and I live away from the area my business is

so for the last year she called Csa off and pays £350 pm Im paying £800

she works plus gets £400 pm off my 23 year old and £250 pm of my 19 year old 

can someone tell me if this is right

am I been mugged off

she seems to think I shoukd be paying this 

I dont think I shoukd pay anything towards the mortgage as I dont live there all I am responsible for is my 17 year old and if was paying Csa would not be more than £200 pm 

I am just wondering what a judge will say to do 

will they say sell and solit 50/50 

theres £300k equity in house and £170k left on mortgage 

or will they say sell when youngest is 18 

if so whats fair as be paying £800pm is killing me some months I am literally only nust making enough to pay it I am living with my Dad who is basically supporting me is embarrassing at 44 I am living this way

any help appreciated guys sorry for the long essay 

Topic starter Posted : 08/06/2024 5:18 pm
Illustrious Member


With courts, every case is different and outcomes vary. It seems that an equal 50/50 split is rare. Some good info here:

Posted : 10/06/2024 10:50 am
Honorable Member

There is also useful information on the website on divorce and financial settlement.  You could try mediation as that will be cheaper and quicker than going through the court process.  Check the Family Mediation Council website for a mediator near you.  Find one that specialises in finance.

Posted : 10/06/2024 3:28 pm

Pin It on Pinterest