Long story short, the mother of my daughter registered her without me and purposely neglected to put my name on the birth certificate. She did this so I would have no legal rights then stopped me from seeing my daughter. For 2 and half years I stayed away after seeking legal advice and being advised it would likely have to go to court, take 9 months, cost me thousands and there was a high chance I would still not get to see my daughter on my own terms. Given that the mother is quite unstable and it became clear I was chosen to be a source of income for her, I decided to walk away and pay the maintenance as it was likely best for both me and my daughter. 2 years down the line my ex contacts me and says she would like me to be part of my daughters life, I agreed and for the last year me and my daughter have had an amazing relationship (she's 3yrs old now) and we love spending time together every week.
The problem however is that my daughters mother has "forbidden" me from having my daughter around my girlfriend because she doesnt like her. My girlfriend (very long term serious relationship) is amazing and will be a part of my life as much as my daughter and so I introduced them for the first time last week. They hit it off big time as my gf is amazing with kids and as a result my daughter hasnt stopped talking about her since, much to the annoyance of my ex who has now said she "forbids" my daughter from being around her clearly because she is jealous or feels threatened. I told my ex she has no right to dictate to such a thing and so she has told me as she is the sole guardian of my daughter I must respect her wishes or I wont be able to see her anymore!
Can she do this to me? She has said that I have no legal rights as I'm not on the birth certificate and the only way I could get on the birth certificate is with her permission which she has told me she will never give. Am I screwed? Do I have to spend the rest of my life playing by her ridiculous rules?
Sorry I said "long story short" then rambled on but I thought it would make sense to put all the details out there.
Can anyone please give me some solid advice on my options here? Much appreciated in advance.
Hi welcome to the site you are in the best place to get advice. My son is in the same position and he didn’t see his daughter for 18 months, then she contacted him and allowed him access but with restrictions, couldn’t go out of the area, has to get permission to have any family with him, the list is endless, and she has given him 3 strikes, and hes on his last chance, the bus was late ggrrrr. So we are going to court any day!! Its not as hard as you think. You need to fill in a c100 for contact and a c1 for parent responsibility also a fm1 this is for family mediation as this is what is now expected and you have to have a good reason why you haven’t tried it, but the mother refusing to put you on the birth certificate is a good one I would think.
You submit the forms to the magistrate court nearest to where the child lives and pay £200 this is a one of fee and shouldn’t cost you any more. within a few weeks you will get a court date, the first date is a quick hearing, you will get a call from cafcass asking if you have any worries regarding the safety of your child and the reasons you are going to court, do not slate the mum, even though she has behaved bad to you, be the nice guy. You can put on the c100 exactly why you are going to court; the mother is restricting access etc and being controlling, she has no right but whilst she is the sole one with parent responsibility she can call the shots. When you get parent responsibility like Bass said you can go on the birth certificate has her father, but you can’t change her last name. When she gets the court letter expect her to stop access, but make sure you put in your mini statement on section 7 that you get contact and what contact you get, I would now go for a defined contact this will give you more security. Also state holidays, birthdays, Christmas weekend with times and overnight
Thanks very much for all your advice and info it has been very helpful. I am in the process of completing the forms and will hopefully have this sorted before Christmas (if I'm very lucky) and hopefully it will not cost me much more than £200 (again, if I'm very lucky by the sounds of things).