Hi,
My now ex partner gave birth to our daughter just 6 weeks ago, one week later she is dating a new guy she met online, I only found this out just over two weeks ago...
We haven't been living together for the last 6 months as she was suffering from severe depression, (there is a whole years worth of info to deal with the why's and wherefores here, far too much info for the topic) within the last few days our relationship has deteriorated to the point that she will have no more contact with me and is now denying me contact with my daughter, up until then I was seeing her fairly regularly,
She had decided not to name me on the birth certificate, and so I do not have PR, I'd like to chat with people who have found themselves in a similar situation to offer me guidance through the process of gaining contact, I have just a short while ago sent in a Mediation Appointment request online, after visiting a solicitor today, I messaged her to plead with her one more time not to force me to continue with this action her reply was simply, 'I know the process. stop messaging me'...
this is my first child at the age of 47, my partner being 37 and this her 3rd child... to say I am distraught and heart broken would be a huge understatement. Any advice would be warmly welcomed.
I'm not sure if this is in the right area topic wise... 🙁
Hi and welcome.
I don't know the mediation process as I haven't been through it myself, but others will be along to offer advice . Keep records of all communications, and make sure that you don't do or say anything that you wouldn't want a court to hear. It will be a long haul I'm afraid, but plenty have been through it and got good results.
Hi Shane,
I'm sorry to hear your story.
You are about to embark on a journey that may last months - when I say months, I'm talking 12-24. Keep that in mind at all times - the sooner you adjust to that prospect, the easier it will be to swallow.
Get ready for false allegations, police intervention, tears, sleepless nights and the sky caving in.
Honestly, this is no exaggeration.
Getting through all of this is down to you, don't expect logic of fair treatment anywhere along the line.
Scour these forums and try to understand the process and what other fathers have been through. There is gold dust on this site.
The legislation you are dealing with is The Children Act 1989 and also The Children and Families Act 2014. It is worth finding those two acts on the government website and reading them - yes I'm serious.
Be honest, be polite and as advised, keep records of everything. Remember at all times that there is no shortcut or "being clever" at any stage of this process - it is what it is and it does at times seem unfair. The system needs to protect your child. The judge doesn't know you or your ex, as far as the court are concerned neither can be trusted until proven to be honest or capable.
Mediation is a fairly simple matter and the mediator will guide you through the process. If it succeeds you will have saved yourself a whole heap of pain. If it doesn't, you apply to the Court and commence proceedings.
We are here for you with advice and support, many of us are at varying stages of the process and can offer first hand experience and advice.
You can do this, you just need to stay calm.
Hi and welcome to the forum
Sorry to hear about your situation. You have taken the right steps by contacting mediation and if that fails you can make an application to court for PR and contact.
It isn't a quick process but most people come through the other side with a fair arrangement in place.
Be kind to yourself in the meantime, be patient and jump through all the hoops that you need to. Keep posting and we will do what we can to assist you throughout the process.
Good luck
hows it going for you so far mate hope ok?