[Solved] Cafcass ????????

Mediation has to be your first choice…..the courts won’t accept an application for contact without asking you to have attempted Mediation first.

If your ex is preventing or breaking contact as and when she feels like it you really first need to try speaking civil with each other.
Try writing a letter to her asking her to stick to or increase contact etc… be polite child focussed and try appealing to her to be reasonable for your child….use the words “our child” when asking for any…. Try “we both helped create a life in (child's name) so lets work for what’s best for (him/her) and put aside our own feelings and differences towards each other”
Ask her if she’s not prepared to do that would she consider mediation…..if she won’t then tell her you’ll have no other option than to seek a Defined Contact Order.

CAFCASS are not always as bad as you hear……in my own case the CAFCASS officer tried his best to get my ex to be reasonable but failed to get her to be.
CAFCASS can be biased if the mother is convincing enough…..but you have to be able to prove and get them to see the evidence to get them to take you seriously.

Try writing first, then offer mediation……last option you have is court and that as many have found just throws the ex’s into revenge/attack mode….how dare you try and control her! Is pretty much the reaction a lot of us seem to be getting……
Maybe its outside influences telling her what she is entitled to and what she should do to make you pay for how you have/have not treated her!

If she cannot be reasonable and court is the only way then you will find plenty of information and help from the forum.

Good luck and keep focussed on your little one.

Thank you very much for your very informative reply, you have been a great help. I have asked for mediation a few times but she had never answered, I have been advised it would be better to get a mediation service to contact her and invite her to a meeting with me.

I just want more contact, I currently get about 16 hours a week spread between 4 days but I want overnight contact once a week, and half of the school holidays plus to be entitled to take my daughter away for 2 weeks abroad each year and for birthdays and Christmas Day to be alternating from year to year.

I have been given the details of a fantastic solicitor who comes highly recommended and a quick google search has unearthed hundreds of glowing reports so I know he is who I would like to hire but as you say that should be further down the road.

Kind regards justme.

Oh and the sceptical side of me questions if her reasons for refusing overnight contact is due to her knowing if you get more than 54 overnight contacts per year then you can reduce maintenance payments by a 7th!!!

Money also seems a possible driving factor in some of our ex’s actions! Although unable to prove that one as much as the revenge mode!

Cat amongst the pigeons time……..have a quick read of the sort of advice your ex may be receiving:

http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/netmums-coffeehouse-archives-528/separation-advice-clinic-748/812164-ex-uses-53-nights-reduce-maintenance-payments-all.html

Fortunately after giving her £26k over the course of our relationship money has never been an issue, I give her £250 a month by standing order and there has never been any mention of the CSA.

Perhaps as I can prove she has committed benefit fraud she is wary of me. Our issue is she is controlling and had managed to scare her sons father away after 3 years ( he has not seen his son for 7 years now) She is trying to make it awkward for me, but I WILL NEVER GIVE UP AS LONG AS IM ALIVE. My Daughter is my world.

It's the constant promotion of her new boyfriend at my expense and the changing off arrangements that annoy me plus the lack of holidays and overnight access.

The ironic thing is I'm not bothered about the money I would pay more to have my daughter overnight.

I think (from her point of view) it would be easier if she had her new fella bringing up both of her children as he has no allegiances to either and is neutral where as I am the father to the most beautiful little girl in the world and had been in her sons life since he was 2.

Obviously I am closer to my daughter than her son. It's just easier for her if I'm not around so she makes it awkward.

Unfortunately for my ex i will never give up no matter how hard it gets and what actions (legally ;-)) I have to take.

Apart from the kids it sounds like we share the same ex! 🙁

there must be something different they put in the gas & air at hospitals....may be its some sort of feminist attack on the male population and we'll all end up kept as slaves as breeders ...... wasn't there a film about something like that a few years ago!

..... but I WILL NEVER GIVE UP AS LONG AS IM ALIVE.

I'd be very careful about putting ideas in her head 😀

Hi,

I think as people have already said. CAFCASS have to become involved in every application that comes to Court. Some particular cases will have CAFCASS involved on differing levels. For example where allegations have been made and the case worker is not able to get a satisfactory answer regarding this or there are highlighted safeguarding issues then there may be the necessity for additional information to be compiled or evidence obtained.

CAFCASS have [allegedly] strict procedures regarding the procurement of evidence and how it needs to be set out. I've heard many cases on these boards where CAFCASS fail in totality to set the tone of the actual report, with clear bias evident or at worst outright lies being presented as fact and recommendations being made.

CAFCASS will be involved within your case for as long as needs be, in my experience this usually covers only the first hearing, but where there are "concerns" then additional attendance or information may be required...

Rules changed unfortunately in April of this year to bring about Mediation as a mandatory expectation of the Court. I would however err on the side of caution. Some people (such as myself) are not able to account for such astronomical costs of the Mediation Service (sometimes running into hundreds of pounds). If this is the case you can seek guidance from the Courts to explain your predicament. Its important to remember that a Court cannot bar you from making an application as everyone is entitled to a hearing and also access to Justice. As long as your alive and kicking 🙂

yoji 🙂

Good to hear from you again - hope all is well with you, or as well as can be expected 🙂

hi actd,

All was well until today so i would suppose as well as can be expected 😆

Oh, [censored] - that wasn't what I was expecting 🙁

Oh dear Yoji....anything we can help with?

Hi NJ,

Thanks for the offer but i think i'm just going to let this one roll as don't know what action i need to take yet.

🙂