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Hi There,
I'm new here. Apologies, as I think thsi may be in the wrong forum but couldn't see where else to put it!
Basically, I have 2 sons (12 & 9) with my ex wife. We have been seperated 8 years and she has been a completly controlling and totally psycho the whole time. Won't bore you with all the rubbish but basically I've had to fight and fight to get a set routine in my boys lives, for their sakes. My ex got everything....I paid off her mortgage, leaving me with nothing, I work in retail and work long and unsociable hours. I have my children 13 times a month,(every single day off I have, bar 2 a month!) I pay CSA every single month without fail. My home, (which I have a 27 yr mortgage on and she has none!!) is a second home to them with everything they have at home with her with me too! My new wife is a fabulous step mum to them. I am involved with sports days, school assemblies, football, parents evenings etc etc....I really can do no more!
4 years ago, after 4 years of fighting contact and her changing her mind at the last minute I had no choice but to take her to court. We had a contact order made (it cost me nearly £5000, whilst she got legal aid even though she has more money coming in each month than me) and basically over the last 2 years she has decided to start pushing her luck again. Over the last 2 years, she has gone against the order 8 times! What is the point of having this order?!
This evening, after dropping my sons home she has sent me a vile text saying I cant have them qfter school this wed. What can I do? I do not have a single penny to take her back to court. I feel like giving up! She has 100% control and I've had enough!
Please help. Where do I stand?
Many Thanks
Hi Baz
You would need to go back to court for enforcement if necessary - don't respond in kind to her texts, but keep a diary of all events and correspondence. You can do this yourself if necessary, in which case it's the court fee only.
Can you confirm that you no longer have a solicitor acting for you, in which case we can ask the CCLC to advise.
Hiya, Thanks for response. From internet reserach tonight Ive discovered that I can apply to have a warning attached to the contact order, so if she were to go against it she could be fined, inprisoned or odrered to do community service (I'd love to see that one!! lol). Can't find the cost of attaching this from though (C78). I'd still have to go back to the courts if she still didnt comply but maybe the threat of litter picking might make her think twice!!
I'm no longer with a solicitor. She, infact died a few months ago. 🙁
I've also got a diary and copy of all texts/e mails that she has sent me when breaching the order. I have 100% complied and been nothing but pleasant!
Hi Baz,
Sounds like our situations are pretty similar. Even 8 years after divorce, my ex seems to still like playing games, cancelling contact time and being very difficult to pin down times for holidays.
I have recently copied all texts and keep all emails so I have a record if it comes to court action. Unfortunately I do not have an official contact order so I am going to have to go through what you've already been through a few years ago. Slightly disheartened to see that even after all the hassle and expense you went to you are still experiencing problems 🙁
Good luck getting the problem sorted
Steve
Hi Baz,
You have done the right thing by keeping a diary, as actd has said don't reply to the txt just keep them, if the txt has someting that needs to be answered, then answer it but only answer what needs to be answered don't get involved with txt battles as they aren't worth your energy.
You can apply to the court for an enforcement order and would need a C79 form for the enforcement order this would cost £200 and you can represent your self through this proccess so you wouldn't incur any other costs.
To me it seems quite clear cut case of your ex not sticking to the order, but if you have any concerns or direct question ask them and we will get the CCLC to drop by and answer them.
Darren
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