[Solved] Access Rights

Hi There,

The first thing I would say is that no matter how hard things get don't just turn up, this may well result in the police being called and you will come out of it worse off.

You need to aproach this in a formal way, that doesn't mean rushing to court, if means getting a formal agreement in place that suits you both, where you both know where you stand, but more importantly your daughter knows where she stands.

Try and see if you can get your ex to attend mediation this will allow you both to be able to talk with a 3rd party present to promote the conversations and keep the debates under control, if you are able to come to an agreement it can be written into a formal agreement, you would need to do this as anything agreed in mediation is "without predudice" so either of you wouldn't be forced to maintain the agreement if you didn't want too.

If mediation doesn't work tyhen you have the option of court, but I would give medfiation a good shot first.

Darren

in my opinion id plan for the worst.

its possible that she will decide that you cant be a part of your kids life just like mine did. out of the blue not much warning. i think she went back to an ex. so to help things for her she made accusations that id threatened to kill myself and my son. the police duly removed me from my home and bailed me for 3 months while they investigated. they found no evidence and dropped the charges. however in the meantime i went back home to collect evidence of her domestic abuse that id recorded over the past 4 yrs. This was ten min after i was originally released and the house was open and empty at 1145pm. I was charged and convicted of burglary and got a very light sentence and a restraining order. Ive since sent a smal teddy to my son who is 4 and was arrested for harrasment. no letter and no previous contact at all. this is all true with no exageration. i went to court to apply for access last week and the judge postponed things until next month to look at any reports available. Thats now 4 months since i had any kind of contact whatsoever. let me tell you more... we are the closest father and son that has ever existed. My son must be hurting as much as me.

So if i were you id try and establish proof that you already have a relationship. my ex is saying we broke up a year ago and ive had little contact. ive actually been main carer in our home for most of the 1st 7 mnths this year.

And you think yours lost the plot.

If your child is at any risk then you should consider more drastic action. Theres occupation orders and non molestation orders. if while on your contact she was to be violent to you trhen you could get an emergency order and keep your child until such time as a court decides where is the best for it to be. this is a risky strategy but i wish thats what id have done instead of listening to people who said i had no hope and no chance.

Record as much as you can and get as much proof as you can that you have a big part in your childs life. you may need to prove this.

if you can keep her sweet and build up a pattern of contact that will help and also any independent witnesses to verify your a great dad.
Watch out for the trump card....domestic violence. there is no tolerance and rightly so. be aware that its possible that you will have allegations at some point. pretty soon its planned that any legal aid wont be given unless there is allegations of violence.

there is another area to work on and thats understanding and care for your ex and i really hope that works but i think you will get plenty of that advice from others.

You could try social services and get to them before they see you and be a good parent and ask them to help. they may actually be able to help. Whatever plan you make always keep plan b in place in case things go bad. keep your records and a diary and proof that you may one day need. at the next hearing i may be given 1 supervised contact in a contact centre every 2 weeks. no im not an offender of any kind. Thats untill the court can decide if you are actually a risk.

be very very careful what you do next and i hope your ok. Consider post natal depression and the likes and try every posative step you can but ALWAYS KEEP A GOOD PLAN B.