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Ex with issue

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Hi All,

I need some direction because I am completely lost in the current situation.

A bit of the background:

I am separated with my ex for more that 5 years. We have together 2 daughters 11y and 13y.

Maintenance and custody agreement are verbally agreed between us.

I am living 50 miles away from girls in kind of the share house.

I am taking girls ever other weekend from Friday afternoon to Monday morning.

My ex was always emotionally unstable however in the last period things get worse.

Girls reported sporadic physical and verbal abuse (reported with social service)

I have started to having problems with my job because she is not home when I am trying to leave girls on Monday morning

Today I txted her that I am arriving with girls at 8:20am we were a bit earlier and I saw her car leaving street at 8:15am. I have turned and followed her to Lidl car park where she stopped. I called her out few time but she ignored me. I parked my car next to her car and was waiting with girls about 20min.

I left the shop, packed shopping to the car and when she saw as then she gone back to the Lild for another 10min. she got into the car so I reversed and stopped 2.5 meters behind her.

I have opened trunk and started unpack some girls stuff next to her car. My girls were confused. My younger one opened the back door and tried to go out but my ex suddenly reversed straight at us. I had to push my daughter inside the car and close the door, otherwise she will hit us.

Then she raided through girls stuff and left car park. 

I couldn't believe what was happen. I called the police and told them what happened but they said there is small chance they will follow up.

In 20min I were arrive to her house. She was already calmed and started to blame me for all situation. She told me that I put girls in risk and stared to abusing me verbally.


Honestly I don't know what to do. Girls cannot leave with me right now because I have no money to rent 2 beds. Also I am not afford for mediator to go to the court.

I started to reporting incidents to the social service and police but there are no movements.


What else I can do?

I am worry about mental health of my daughters because she is not looking objectively on the impact of her action

Also my job is affected because I am late or not going to work at all because of her absence.


thank you






This topic was modified 1 year ago by Unknow999
Topic starter Posted : 25/07/2022 10:56 am
Illustrious Member


I would suggest if you could drop kids to school, as that avoids issues with your ex. I went through courts and asked to have kids fri-mon, but they only allowed it if i drop kids to school. They told me to find a more flexible job if school runs are an issue. If monday mornings are issue, then you could ask ex if you can change arrangements to fri-sun.

Posted : 25/07/2022 4:12 pm

how contact centres work

Estimable Member Registered

Sorry about your troubles and well done for remaining calm.


Child arrangements is a family court matter. Police or social services have no powers in that matter unless a child is in imminent risk of danger. If that's the case a Child Protection Order could be put in place for 7 days while multiple agencies investigate. 


As the above poster recommended, drop the children off at school on Monday mornings.

Posted : 26/07/2022 5:43 am

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