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hello as on previous posts i was househusband to 4 kids when we split up my ex agreed to that i could take the youngest 20mths and the other 3 who are 12 14 19 can choose where they want to live. the 12 yr old decided she wanted to live with me.so on this i took my name of the tenancy(i know major mistake)and moved out taking 2 kids fast forward a month she decides she wants them back so i do then got solicitors involved that when the accustations of being abusive violent startedi .its been 3 mths now since i gave them back
i know have my first appointment at country court(april) it states the court will direct me to file a statement and they will us cfcas.also to find out if agreement can be reach without further court involement.(my ex partner will not agree with anything i say)
i am trying for residence for 12 yr old and 20mth old and parent responsbility for 12yr old 14 year old please could u advise me the best way to go to court and inmprove my chances of successs
at the moment my ex is very controlling always was now i can,t even pick the kids up out side the house outside the gate i have to pick them up end of street or at her work can she do this (she does not own the street)
Hi Vinny 🙂
Just tell the truth, which is that she worked and you looked after the home and children. when you write your position statement outline all of the duties that you performed like washing them, (the baby anyway!) cooking, shopping, school pick ups, helping with homework, housework etc. Tell them about the agreement about the children when you split, that your 12yr old wanted to stay with you etc... Defend yourself as far as the allegation are concerned simply by saying that these only started after things turned unpleasant. Point out the ex's unreasonable behaviour but do it in a calm and matter of fact way...no mud slinging or getting nasty about her!
CAFCASS will talk to you both and will try and get you to agree but dont back down on the issues that you feel are important, and ask that they speak to the older children especially the 12yr old that wants to be with you.
As she has made accusations about you its probably better to stay away from the house, this prevents any further allegations being made if you are in a public place.
Best of luck for April 🙂
hi now cafcass have written to me saying they will ring me up in the next 2 weeks to talk about the situation is there any thing i can say to improve my chances as when i do start talking to people like that im not a very good talker to people like that. is there any dos and don,ts
Hi there 🙂
Just be yourself and speak from your heart. Stay calm and reasonable and no mud slinging! Obviously if you think your ex has been unreasonable then say that and give some reasons. When asked a question, take your time and think about your reply. It might help to write some things down that you would like to say, or get a friend or family member to sit and ask you some questions about your role as a father, what you would like to happen....that kind of thing.
Best of luck 🙂
As Nannyjanesays, be yourself and keep calm. a good thing that I found to do is have bullet points ready for when they call. this ensures you get all of the points you want to make across to the cafcass officer. I hope this helps.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
