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Hi,
Thanks Bill.
So, I'm into the next phase of my melodrama....
Court date is set for October, with CAFCASS now coming to visit our home in September. Any advice or just act normally?
Yes, be yourself. Put your best foot forward but don’t make out you are the perfect father and you don’t make any errors. They are not looking for perfection.
Be relaxed, friendly, engaging and calm.
If you do have concerns about your ex, raise them without going over the top or in a negative way.
Make sure house is reasonably clean and your son’s bedroom is appropriate for his age.
Hide those over 18 horror dvds that you may have in your living room etc
So CAFCASS came and did a home visit. All seemed fine - they played a game with my son that involved putting people in houses marked Safe, Happy and Sad. I felt like I had a really good chat with them.
BUT, they just called me and hit me with so many allegations - Controlling, I'm stopping my son going to see his mother, I'm this, I'm that. Suddenly, I feel worried....is this due diligence or are they taking sides?
Help. Confidence needed.
Right....Sounds like they've seen you then gone and seen her.....and she's then come out with these allegations because she's probably heard from them that all seems OK between you and your son.
unfortunately, there seems to me to be so many cases you read about where these allegations are thrown about now that it just sounds scripted......the way I see it.....you or any other guy comes here and asks for help to see our kids and get told what you will need to do etc... within the court system and law to fight to see your kids.
they on the other hand seem to get told how to stop you and how to control you by throwing allegations in to the mix and then claim legal aid and not have to prove any of it because the courts have to err on the side of caution where children are concerned just in case you are what she claims and then they don't let another "Baby P" case slip past them.
It'll end up being about them now trying to control you.
Whether you are controlling or not they seem to really miss the point that the children need BOTH parents in their lives (unless proven one shouldn't be)
stay calm when responding to allegations and ask when these took place, why there is no mention of them before you took legal action to see your child!
I dare say that the majority of people who have asked for help on this forum have had experience of false allegations being thrown at them....more so since Legal Aid got stopped for Family Court....the only way you can claim Legal Aid now is to have been a victim of Domestic Abuse....not that Abuse is not just physical, it's mental and financial also these days!
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