Hi,
I would appreciate some advice about what do with regards to my sons mother breaking a contact order that had just been ordered repeatedly.
Brief background is I self represent for paperwork but have a barrister, reasonably sourced through the public access site, who advocates for me at hearings.
Ex and I split up late 2014 and I applied for a child arrangements order in August this year after getting nowhere about being unsupervised.
First hearing CAFCASS said no welfare issues and mother agreed to 2hrs supported by her father as she had stopped contact when I made my application and I hadn't seen him for 8weeks. At 2nd hearing, after contact was progressing great, she offered another hr but still supported by her father and tried to delay proceedings by telling court child had been referred for possible early help due to highlighting anxious behaviour, child is 3, but this was dismissed as pre-school report showed no concerns.
So basically the judge ruled against her there and then, it was quite clear that the referral was very bias and written just days before hearing. Judge ruled my contact would be gradually increased up to 6hrs unsupervised from 3 hrs supported by grandfather for 1.5hr with final hearing in March.
So, Christmas contact was supposed to be last Sunday, no contact text to say child ill just before contact time, then this week I receive a text from grandfather saying they told child they wouldn't be staying and he refused to get out and got upset so they drove off. I was at the meet point early and know for a fact they did not come, so basically grandfather is also lying too now.
Strangely, when I text ex to find out what was going on she said her solicitor would be appealing the judges order because he was 'unfair' and they wanted him removed from case. How strange considering her unfairness knows no bounds!! But nevertheless as far as I'm aware even if you appeal an order you can't continually break it because you disagree!?!? Plus it makes a mockery of her supposedly wanting father in child's life when they don't see them at Xmas.
So this Monday i need to call court and request and emergency hearing due to the orders being repeatedly broken and contact her solicitor to inform them of the actions of their client which has no negatively affected our son's emotional state by not seeing me over holidays or knowing when he will see me again. Any advice on how to take this forward would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Don't bother phoning the court they will just fob you off, you'll be best off writing directly to the Judge or Judges who ordered the contact in the last hearing just a brief polite letter explaining what you have in your post.
I done exactly that and I got an emergency directions within 2 weeks in the meantime log down all the missed contact ect for future reference.
At the end of the day the ex is on the back foot now as contact has been ordered the courts won't be happy that she is obstructing contact as they see it as very detrimental to the child and I can't see the solicitor getting very far in contesting the last order but more than likely that's just a lie anyway to screw with your head.
All the best
Slim 🙂
I don't think you can appeal an interim order. An appeal would be lodged with the closure of the casr....I could be wrong as I'm not legally trained, but that's my understanding!
Slim has given you some good advice. Write to the judge that made the order asap....he can bring it back to court, as happened in Slims case, but if he doesn't you can make an application to add new directions or another order to existing proceedings.
As Slims says, she could be lying just to mess with your head.
It's a good idea to keep all communication with your ex as texts, or emails as these can be screenshot and used as evidence. If you have any that you feel would help attach thenm to the letter to the judge. If you do decide to do this you must also send a copy of the letter and attachments to her solicitor... This is the case with any letters/documents that you send to the court.
Best of luck
Hi Guys,
Thanks for the advice, i will write the letter up today and take this forward.
Will update how it all goes.
Thanks
Hi
Well thought I'd give a quick update, eventually got a hearing last week after being sent all types of diversion rubbish by her solicitors.
The case was passed up to a circuit judge who didn't take too kindly to ex's antics. Told her that as the main care giver it was her duty to support contact with father and encourage son, then ordered a S7 report into how much she is supporting contact put my order back in place, with some slight changes and told her counsel if anymore contacts were not carried out the court would sit it within 48hrs
Finally had time with son alone this weekend and it looks like things are going too downhill for ex from here.
Must say I have employed a barrister through the public access route and the work I've had done for 3 hearings and countless emails and texts is unbelievable for £1000. Obviously £1000 is a lot of money to most but I'm sure a solicitor would have charged at least £6000
Keep the faith
Well done and thanks for updating us. Great that it went up to a Circuit Judge and they're not standing for her nonsense - there are far too many judges who are so wishy washy when it comes to these situations so its always good to hear of proactive outcomes.
Good luck going forward and please keep us up to date.
It's good to hear that the court are taking your situation seriously 🙂 Fingers crossed she'll start to change her ways and you'll be getting the regular time with your son that you both deserve 🙂
How did you get it moved up to the circuit judge?
Hi Spottedtree - you can't really request it yourself, you could try but its the court who decide which tier of judge is appropriate, they usually move it up from a DJ to a CJ when orders are being broken or if it's a complex case. It varies from court to court at what point they would elevate it.
Well done and thanks for updating us. Great that it went up to a Circuit Judge and they're not standing for her nonsense - there are far too many judges who are so wishy washy when it comes to these situations so its always good to hear of proactive outcomes.
Good luck going forward and please keep us up to date.
Again seems people get less bias and see thorugh nonesense when see a judge
Well done and thanks for updating us. Great that it went up to a Circuit Judge and they're not standing for her nonsense - there are far too many judges who are so wishy washy when it comes to these situations so its always good to hear of proactive outcomes.
Good luck going forward and please keep us up to date.
Again seems people get less bias and see thorugh nonesense when see a judge
Yes - and this is why fathers (who in particular are having contact refused and facing an ex's solicitor) should waste no time getting a MIAM and self-repping to Court. The worst thing for a father to do in this situation is to engage in back-and-forths with a solicitor (except to state position) who is clearly trying to assist an ex in blocking contact - while they dream up DV allegations.
This is one of my many frustrations with the system and process I havent been shy about saying.
Mothers are always worthy and fathers have to prove to be.
Whatsmore you're encouraged to "sort it out yourselves" with absolutely nothing on your side.
I was criticised by CAFCASS indirectly "very young" and her solicitor throughout - yet if I hadnt I wouldnt be seeing him yet or overnight and his bond is now evidentially strong with me, he has crawled passed his mother on two occassions to be picked up by me - he's also leaned back from me to her of course but again SHARED. All the teeth removed from C&F act from feminazi lobbyists is perpetuating this [censored].
Theres plenty of research regarding anti socia behaviour and lack of parental contact.
Judge led mediation was good - ie "no love Id award more than that" - but in my case she still removed contact.
CMS - sort it but if she applies your liable even if same day youve paid - bank statements dont prove.
There is a situation where if changing names they can in certain situations - "no contact", sexual offence or murder or you're missing - why isnt this the same for plain contact - unless you have a record of such - its tough tits? Becase generally once it starts in most cases the ball rolls and [censored] calms down.
Hi
Well thought I'd give a quick update, eventually got a hearing last week after being sent all types of diversion rubbish by her solicitors.
The case was passed up to a circuit judge who didn't take too kindly to ex's antics. Told her that as the main care giver it was her duty to support contact with father and encourage son, then ordered a S7 report into how much she is supporting contact put my order back in place, with some slight changes and told her counsel if anymore contacts were not carried out the court would sit it within 48hrs
Finally had time with son alone this weekend and it looks like things are going too downhill for ex from here.
Must say I have employed a barrister through the public access route and the work I've had done for 3 hearings and countless emails and texts is unbelievable for £1000. Obviously £1000 is a lot of money to most but I'm sure a solicitor would have charged at least £6000
Keep the faith
Thanks for the update J....I wonder, could you tell me whether the letter to the judge was enough to get It back to court, or if you had to make an application for new directions to existing proceedings?
The barristers fees do sound reasonable and you're right, for the work you've had done some solicitors would have charged several thousands!
Results in family court are only as good as the judge sitting on the day and it sounds like you had a good one, as Yoda says some can be loathe to act when there are breaches and giving her counsel notice of an immediate return in such circumstances must be reassuring for you.
All the best 🙂