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I am new to this site but I am in need of advice and hope that someone out there will be able to help.
In 2002 my wife and I separated and she took my 3 year old daughter and 4 month old son with her and moved 100 miles away to be near her mother. There was no intention to get back together and I simply settled with seeing my children during holidays and every other weekend. I made weekly payments to the CSA from my wages, unfortunately my ex wife never saw any of this as she was receiving benefits.
In 2004 I suffered a serious accident which left me disabled with very poor mobility, constant pain and as I was taking over 30 tablets a day (everything from paracetamol to morphine), I had concentration problems and obviously I was unable to drive. By this time I was with a new partner and she helped me with the 200 mile round trip to get my children each and every time. Since the accident I have simply been receiving benefits and as a consequence my home was repossessed and I moved into a rented 2 bed roomed house, this was quite a squeeze as there was myself and my partner, her son and then my 2 children (Thank God for bunk beds). Due to receiving such a low income my payments to the CSA were stopped as I was under the threshold.
In 2005 we began divorce proceedings and this was completed in 2006.
I had been paying for the petrol or train fare to collect my children and also to take them back to their mothers now for 6 years and my ex-wife has made no contribution what so ever. The children are with me for 13 weeks per year plus weekends and during that time the ex still receives child benefit and family tax credit, this is in the region of £10,000 per year, a quarter of which she receives when the children are not even there. Bearing this in mind and the fact that I am still heavily in debt due to the repossession, 4 months ago I asked if she could help out and pay for half of the journeys. At the time she did not complain about this so I presumed that she would be willing to help.
I am due to collect my children this Saturday and the ex has dropped a bomb shell, she has allegedly seen her solicitor and because I have not paid maintenance since 2004, I have to pay to collect and return the children. I was also told that if I did not agree to this then I will not get access to my children. The children were left out of the divorce because at the time everything was amicable and there was a verbal agreement in place regarding how often I saw them.
I am unable to see my solicitor until it is too late and I have been unable to get advice from anywhere else. All I want to know is whether or not it is correct that because I was under the threshold and did not pay maintenance, do I have to pay all travelling costs for the children?, can she threaten to stop my access without it going to court?, and if she has seen her solicitor, can she say this without even sending a letter?
Many thanks in anticipation
Jamie
Mate I have no idea what your rights are here as i'm married and live with my kids but it does sound like you need to get to a laywer. How come you can't get to see yours untill its to late? Can you see another partner in the firm or another firm of lawyers? If all else fails try your local CAB or http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
I hope your kids (now 9 and 6 right?) appreciate all you are doing for them. I hope what i'm about to say doesn't come across as lame but many dads would have given up the fight by now, well done for loving them enough to keep over coming and going on. Its show you're made of strong stuff and that you're a dedicate father.
I hope someone else is able to give you better advise. Let us know how things go.
This sounds wrong to me. You could try calling this crowd in Birmingham - they will give general advice over the phone:
Child Support Solutions 08456 588683
http://www.childsupportsolutions.co.uk/services.htm
They should be able to give you a straight answer - would be really interested to hear how you get on, do hope you get to see your kids this weekend.
The other organisation to try is: http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com who have a helpline 9-5pm...
Hi Jamie! Apologies for the short post replying about who can help - did you manage to talk to someone?
More importantly, Did you get to see your kids this weekend? ❓
Thank you for your query.
Unfortunately we cannot provide advice on maintenance issues however we would recommend that you contact Child Maintenance Options on 0800 988 0988.
In response to your concerns regarding contact, unless there is a court order in place stating otherwise, it is up to mutual agreement whether or not your ex-partner contributes to your travelling costs. Without any court orders in place, there is no legal obligation for your ex-partner to provide financial assistance for your travelling expenses. If a contact order is in place then it may be possible to include a term stating that all travel costs should be shared or alternatively that your ex-partner meets you at a halfway point to hand the children over to you.
In addition to this, as your children are too young to make decisions relating to contact for themselves then it falls to their resident parent to make this decision on their behalf. As your ex-partner is the resident parent of the children, she will be in a position to decide how much contact the children have with you and how often. Therefore your ex-partner could stop contact prior to taking any court action without acting unlawfully.
If your partner did decide to stop contact then you would have several options, firstly you and your ex-partner could try mediation. We generally suggest mediation as a method of resolving the issue prior to making an application to court. If mediation has been offered by the non-resident parent prior to taking further action then this will be looked upon favourably by the court. More information on mediation services can be found by contacting National Family Mediation on (01392) 271610.
If mediation is unsuccessful then you have the option of making an application to the court for a contact order. You can apply to the court for contact with or without instructing a solicitor. To find out whether you qualify for legal aid please use the eligibility calculator on http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk .
We hope this answers your query. If you feel that you need further advice then please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0845 120 2948.
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