Me and my partner broke up before my son was born, but she’s been pretty much manipulative and abusive from even that time. I’ve really tried to do everything right because I respect that a child needs his mother and I’ve given her that respect.
Last week i took him home for the first time as she went out with her Mum and sister and asked me to look after him. When i told her she literally said “That sounds nice” and was really nice about it. This week she was supposed to be at work, i spoke to her last night and she said what are you going to do with him? I said I’m not sure yet. She said “You’re not taking him home, I’m not comfortable with it. Until you involve me in your life you’re not taking him home.” She later messaged me and said she wasn’t going to work, basically to make sure she had control over what I did with him.
This all started because I didn’t give her my sisters phone number the other day, and because I had a bbq with my parents on my day off instead of calling her to make plans or whatever.
Today she completely manipulated the day so she could do what she wanted and i could only see my son on her terms.
I literally don’t know what to do anymore. Even her own Mum and sister say I’m an amazing Dad. Ive only ever kept him safe so there’s no good reason for me not taking him apart from the fact that she’s not involved. I just want to have him in my life without her control. I will always respect what she says, but not when it basically means I can’t do anything without her.
Any advice would really help.
Thank you.
Unfortunately, the mother is able to dictate contact, so if she isn't going to be reasonable, then your next step is to go for mediation - you would need to do this anyway before applying to court, and in doing so, there is always the hope that she might come to a more reasonable position in mediation and you might not have to take it further. You can let it be known to her that you intend to go down this route, even that might possibly push her in the right direction.
Hi There
As ACTD has said you would need to at least attempt mediation hopefully you would be able to manage a compromise during mediation, if not then it would be applying to court for an order to be made.
GTTS
As has been said, if you can't agree together, mediation would be your first step. I would advise strapping yourself in for a bumpy ride at the start. How old is your child? Has this been going on for a long time?
