This is a rare positive message on this forum, for all the dads struggling atm.
As some of you are aware from previous posts I am in the same position as dozens of dads on here. Served with non mol, child arrangements and prohibitive steps along with false DA and SA allegations. I had to go it alone in court due to financial costs of legal help. I have utilized family, friends and forum posts to steer me through the legal minefield. This post is proof that things can go your way eventually.
I am writing this as an example if you keep your head, do the paperwork and focus on your children, things can work out.
I was served with an ex-parte non mol and my solicitor at the time told me to not fight it, so I agreed (huge mistake). Due to my wife's constant contradictions, behaviour and games, HER OWN solicitor has today filed a request to court to amend the non mol to allow direct contact as she no longer wants to be intermediary or act for her due to these issues. I feel a bit vindicated by this...a little win.
On top of that the CAFCASS Section 7 report has come back today recommending 50/50 shared custody, the children to remain at their respective schools, the prohibitive steps be removed and the prohibitive steps I filed against my mother in law for child endangerment be viewed on the evidence and not dismissed (what I was fighting for). Again another win
We're back in court in 2 weeks for a 5 case, half day, directions hearing. The order for the court bundle was drawn up with a glaring mistake, as such no party had been ordered to produce one. Knowing this to be a major issue I raised it with court who has put it in front of a judge for a decision on Monday as to who should produce one. I have been advised to produce one just in case my wife doesn't. As you can imagine this favors me heavily and rightly so. This is proof that things can work out for the better with effort.
My point in this is, I was as low as can be seeing no way out, no way to move forward (contemplating adding to horrible statistics), but now through hard work and the truth, the wheels are starting to come off her train. I am now the confident one heading into the biggest court case.
Just remember this.. you're fighting for your child/children, chin up, keep going, you are dad! you've got this!
Fingers crossed for you at the next hearing, nice to see CAFCASS not just taking the mothers version for once.
Just remember your ex will have to agree the bundle.
You can read more here;
https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/family/practice_directions/pd_part_27a
Stumbled across you today and it was very needed. There is light at the end of the tunnel however is only when the childs Gillick competent. The tunnel is long and i cant see the light. I too have thought about being a statistic. thats a good way of putting it. Mines 5 so, its gonna be a while. The Magistrate thought 2 days midweek after school contact would be disruptive. so she cut the baby in half and gave me one. its 180 miles away. Despite my son and I having a very close relationship. Its fraught with her reneging on contact agreements with fairly reasonable excuses, but i dont see him for 5 weeks at this time of year (halfterm overlapping my weekends). Its really hard not seeing him for more than 2 weeks, really fecking difficult. not sure when i should go for breach of order as 'additional contact was agreed in writing' and then she changed her mind twice now, and two breaches before (because of financial difficulty).
Anyway you got thro. thanks.
Stay strong Lukatic... you are seeing your child, granted it’s not as much as it should be, or as much as you’d like.
If she is breaching the order, but the wording on the order for extra contact is vague, you might like to think about applying for a variation to have contact more defined as the mother isn’t agree to allow any extra contact. Perhaps you could get an equal share of school holidays and maybe some FaceTime during the week.
All the best