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Non-molestation and daughter

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(@dadsunited)
Trusted Member Registered

Hi dads…. 

I need some advice. My partner has been abusing me for years and I finally had enough on Friday and she was arrested, released on bail and i have been given my baby (18 month daughter)

 

my wife was released and can not come to my property or contact me. I am happy as I have my child. It’s been 5 days and someone said she is [censored] bent on getting our baby. I said to her, to go through child arrangements.

Can I ask… if she puts through a false non-molestation order. And makes stuff up, can the courts take my child away from me????

Just wondering her next steps?

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 19/01/2023 12:56 am
(@bill337)
Famed Member

Hi hope your well. If she applies for non mol, court may or may not grant it. If they do give it, it just means your not allowed to contact her or go near her. 

Her next steps might be that she takes legal route and applies for child arrangements order. Then it would be up to courts to decide who child lives with. If child remains with you for a long period of time, it's likely courts will keep it that way. Their decisions are unpredictable.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/01/2023 8:37 am

(@champagne)
Reputable Member

I would suggest that you apply for a non mol now.  It seems you have plenty of evidence including the latest incident.  The curt ill deal with it urgently before her bail conditions expire.  You can also apply for a child arrangements order that your daughter resides with you and in the meantime don't let her have any contact except through a child contact centre.  There may be domestic abuse support agencies in your area who will help draw up the non mol, or you may be entitled to legal aid.  You can apply yourself on form FL401 which is online.  Or you can of course use a solicitor.  There are guides on the advicenow.org.uk and rightsofwomen.org.uk websites.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 19/01/2023 9:30 am
(@dadsunited)
Trusted Member Registered

thank you all for your replies. So I sent off the non-mol…. But guess what…

The ex has applied for an emergency child arrangements order hearing scheduled tomorrow! I got the order at 3pm today and the hearing is at 11am tomorrow. She is claiming that I am violent and mental (all false and untrue) she has placed a specific issue order of wanting my daughter to go with her.

will I lose my daughter? My response is simple… I will not allow my daughter to go to someone who is mentally unstable and threatened to jump out a window whilst holding our baby. All true. Will the courts still allow her to get our child???? It’s a first hearing for an hour.

 

any help… please??????

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 20/01/2023 1:33 am

how contact centres work

(@champagne)
Reputable Member

You will have a chance to speak.  You can mention your application for a non mol, the recent incident and her bail conditions.  If you have any evidence - crime reference number, abusive texts etc, that will be good.  I would hope that your daughter will remain with you and the court will order reports.  Mum may be allowed to see your daughter in the meantime.  Trouble is, it's never easy to predict what the court will do.  Good luck and let us know how you get on  (apologies for typo in previous response)

ReplyQuote
Posted : 20/01/2023 8:32 am
(@dadsunited)
Trusted Member Registered

@champagne 

thank you so much for your support.

so the result is…. That I remain as the main care giver and our daughter stays with me at the family home, but she gets face to face contact for 3 days a week 9-5 for the interim.

I was pleased that I was recognised as the main care giver. But it’s absurd that although I explained how the mother is abusive, and threatened suicide with our daughter that the courts still gave her contact. Even though I have evidence. The social workers were shocked, but said it’s down to the courts. 
if this goes to a fact find, they will probably mitigate the evidence by saying she is capable over those 3 days. But she is still a risk. It’s crazy they don’t protect my daughter for her mothers whining.

If I can prove abuse against me and my daughter, during the full end to end process.
Will she still come out with a chance to keep contact?

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 20/01/2023 10:31 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

(@champagne)
Reputable Member
  • @dadsunited that’s a good start although more unsupervised contact than expected. The courts prefer children to know both parents so it’s likely she will continue to have contact. However social services will do safeguarding checks and the court is likely to take their recommendation 
ReplyQuote
Posted : 21/01/2023 9:35 am
(@dadsunited)
Trusted Member Registered

@champagne thank you

yeah it is ridiculous that someone with suicidal tendencies can get unsupervised contact. The social worker was shocked and said it’s a bad decision, but ultimately down to the courts.

Let’s say if it goes to a fact find… and my evidence comes out that she tried jumping out of a window and I took saved our child…. Wouldn’t that reduce her contact?

also, now that I am the primary carer aka sole custody. When the divorce and child arrangements order becomes final. Based on this pre-tense… I should be looking at sole custody still?

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 23/01/2023 1:40 am

(@champagne)
Reputable Member

I can understand your concern.  Yes, contact could be reduced to supervised but the court will make every effort to ensure that your daughter knows her mother

ReplyQuote
Posted : 23/01/2023 6:35 pm
(@dadsunited)
Trusted Member Registered

@champagne 

the situation gets worse. So since last week, I have had 4 stalking/harassment attempts on me/my daughter (all proven with evidence) and last night I had someone try to break into my house and stalk/harass me. I called the police on all occasions. The police and social worker informed me to get a non-mol

I had already applied to the non-mol on Thursday and added more information last night.

 The courts came back and said it will be considered on 29/3/23 alongside the child arrangements hearing!?!! Who’s gonna protect me until then??? An attack is imminent and I need the courts. 

I tried calling… but no answer. I emailed back asking them to reconsider and consider an interim order. Literally we are being threatened in our own home where my daughter and I live seperately. My ex has texted that she will attack me. All evidenced and the courts turn a blind eye????

what can I do??? I need an interim non mil order

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 24/01/2023 12:20 pm

how contact centres work

(@champagne)
Reputable Member

When you applied for the non mol did you ask for it to be heard without notice?  If you didn't then it may be worth reapplying although the courts are generally hearing the applications on notice to the Respondent as it saves court time.  However, they might make the order with the return hearing listed at the same time as the child arrangements hearing. The other possibility is for the police to arrest her for harassment/threatening behaviour and bail her not to come to the house while investigations are ongoing.  Could you look into that?  It sounds as though you have sufficient evidence.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24/01/2023 1:54 pm
(@dadsunited)
Trusted Member Registered

@champagne 

 

thank you so much! In the end they gave the non-molestation order. She is also on 3month bail, so everything worked out in the end.

 

thank you so much!

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 27/01/2023 7:51 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

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