My ex took me to court and she was successful in getting a non molestation order and a prohibited steps order against me because she says I was mentally and physically abusive throughout our relationship, her pregnancy and once the baby was born.
She can’t prove any of this except one thing because she recorded it on her phone, so now because I have a conviction of hitting her once and previous historical convictions of assault against another woman three years ago and false imprisonment on my record from 15 years ago for which the charges were dropped I think that goes against me. There was a Cafcass report which totally took her side probably because the officer was a woman and they all stick together, she failed to take into account I am a good father to my other sons and there are no issues with their mothers of me seeing them anymore. Apparently that wasn’t ‘relevant’?!
The non mol ends in the autumn, can I just go to her house and ask to see my child when it runs out? She surely can’t have it extended if I don’t breach it as she will have no grounds? I can approach her in person once it has run out right?
I haven’t seen the baby for well over half of it’s life. It won’t know me anymore. She has told the cafcass and court I never did anything to look after it and told her to get it adopted and said sexual things about it. She can’t prove any of this.
How can I get access to the baby? Apparently she doesn’t have to attend mediation because of my conviction and the non mol. I can’t afford to take her to court, she gets legal aid. I don’t pay maintenance because I can’t afford it.
I had a solicitor the first court appearance but represented myself at the final hearing as I couldn’t afford a solicitor. I feel this went against me. Every time I tried to speak they told me it wasn’t relevant and wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to tell them about her despicable history and issues.
How can I get access to the baby? Should I just give up?
hi,
you mentioned cafcass did a report. what was conclusion, Did they make any recommendations about you seeing the child?
It said the officer didn’t advise it because there was evidence of domestic abuse and that I should complete a perpetrator course which my probation officer said is a standard thing after a conviction.
It also said something about how if child wasn’t a baby and could talk would probably want to see me so kind of contradicted itself a bit.
hi,
if cafcass recommended you take a course, guessing its DVPP, then you should complete it. if you went to court with a child arrangement application, cafcass will most likely repeat the same and tell you to take a course before having any contact with your child. unfortunately they will make you jump through hoops.
what is your ex like? when non mol runs out, and you make contact with her to see baby? if she refuses then your only option is to go back to court. you could represent yourself again.
I can do the course but why should I be treated like scum on her say so? She can’t prove any of it and I was only convicted of one thing.
She was ok until she got pregnant and lost all interest in me. Spent half her pregnancy thinking she looked fat and ugly and didn’t want to have [censored] anymore then the other half the pregnancy being obsessively scared about giving birth and not wanting to have [censored] anymore. Just went to all these classes which made her more scared. I told her not to go but she wouldn’t listen. The birth wasn’t even that bad but she made out like it was terrible and still didn’t want to have [censored]. All she was interested in was the baby and taking it to her mom and dads all the time. She never wanted anything to do with me, didn’t care that I had to work and expected me to everything when I got back so she could Sit on the sofa all night with the baby, when she had all day to shower but didn’t and really let herself go. She had loads of issues when I met her but they all magically disappeared when she had the baby. She never wanted to spend any time with me and turned my life into a joyless job. She was never happy.
Now she won’t let me see the baby and everyone is asking questions and thinking I am a bad person for not trying harder to see the baby.
Am I right I’m thinking there is nothing stopping me knocking on her front door once the non mol expires? She’s got cameras up but if there is nothing in place legally it’s not a crime is it?
If I were you I’d be careful about just turning up at the exes house. Maybe write a polite letter or email to them .
You can get court fees waived or reduced . Have a look at this
https://www.gov.uk/get-help-with-court-fees
If you just turn up you open the door for her to say your harassing her , trespassing etc . You may think it’s reasonable but if she says otherwise and reports it you could be back at square one . The absence of a non mol etc doesn’t mean you’re free to just turn up ...
Can’t get arrested for it though can I?
I don’t really want anyone poking into my finances if you know what I mean. Just managed to get 12k of unpaid maintenance written off for my other kids. She hasn’t put in a claim for the baby.
If I only get supervised contact will she have to pay half for the contact centre? Because I don’t pay maintenance, if I start paying for a contact centre will they say I could use that money for maintence? It’s all about money with her.
Doubt you’d be arrested . If she called her police they’d prob just warn you she’s made a complaint in the 1st instance so long as all you did was be polite and knock on the door etc
Sorry don’t know about the contact centre . Don’t think she’s have to pay though .
No, she won't be expected to pay for the contact centre, that will be a cost to you. I really wouldn't turn up on her doorstep, if she does call the police, then you are giving yourself potential problems if you go through the court for contact, and you really need to make it hard for her to paint you in a negative light.
hi,
as others mentioned, do not just turn up at her house when non-mol expires. she may use that as reason to try get non-mol extended. in my case, no convictions. court ordered ex to give me a private room at her place. so i sat at her place for 30 mins with baby, every saturday for few weeks (interim order) :p
How do I delete my post please someone?