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So this is my situation.........I have been with my now ex-finance (since 5 days ago) for 8 yrs, we have always been so close and spent a lot of time together to the point where we rarely see our friends and have lost friends because of it. We have always got on really well, had that click and rarely argued. We had a beautiful girl together who is now 3 and the joy of our life's.
Just over a year and a half ago I got sick of working in call centres (and really struggled with targets) so decided to try and become a teacher or teaching assistant, did some volunteering and really loved it but was then unable to get on teaching course or get any teaching assistant work. I have been a job seekers for just over one year and unable to get any kind of work. I have a electronic engineering degree and electrician qualifications but very little work experience, and the other jobs i go for like supermarket etc say i's over qualified.
Having no money and being around each other 24/7 we have not had much quality time together, but when we did go out together we had a really good time, and had fun drinking in and takeaway evenings. Recently we got new furniture and last week ever got her engagement ring re-sized so I thought things were still going ok. Then on Tuesday she tells me she doesn't love me any more and I have to move out(rented house). I was very shocked and still don't understand why she doesn't want to try and work things out especially for our daughter. We still click, have our silly jokes, and never argue, things have just gone a bit stale in my eyes but its not completely broken.
We are still talking but I have lost my best friend and my fiancée. More than anything I am so scared for my daughter and how it will affect her. She is 3 and doesn't know anything is going on just that she gets will have 2 houses 'Daddy's house and Mummy's house'. We are going to try and have her 50/50 but then when i'm back working i'm not sure what will happen or how much I will see hear. She is my world!!!!!
I now need to try and find somewhere to live (renting) which will be near my daughter which is very difficult coz i'm not working and on housing benefits and no council houses nearby.
I am feeling very lost and think i'm going to be lonely, just got one good friend near me and no family. I also I know I am a good Dad but still don't know how I am going to look after my daughter when its just me and her. We have always done everything as a family and i have had a lot of fun days just me and my daughter but its never been for more than one day.
Really don't know how I will cope or what i'm doing??? 🙁
(sorry for the long story and this is one of the longest things I have ever written but I wanted to try and explain the whole situation)
Hi there and welcome 🙂
I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard time..... Theres not a lot of advice I can give except to keep talking and maybe try an organization like Relate. Heres a link - www.relate.org.uk
Hi,
I'd 2nd what NJ has said you need to talk, but not just to your ex but too others too so that you can get straight in your head what to do.
you can talk here and be as open as you like.
Darren
hi there , i am a fairly similar situation , except we split end of sept 2012 and have sort of been on and off up until mid feb when she decided to be with another guy.we were living together for 18 months but had an ongoing affair since1997 there are 5 children involved and i am not on the birth certificates and have been told by her that i have no rights to see the children even though i have emails and texts saying she would never stop me from seeing them. as there is a possibility that i may not be the father although "my son " who is 3 1/2 is a dead ringer for me , i have received an email tonight saying that any further access is to be sorted via a solicitor.
like you i am unemployed on jsa and i rent a 2 bedroomed house, housing benefit does not cover the rent BUT the council have a DISCRETIONARY PAYMENT SCHEME, which i applied for on the grounds that there were no 1 room houses, flats in the local village where i live and she lives with children, i used the fact that i did not wish to lose contact with the children as a reason for my application.
the council decided that i was entitled to it and raised my housing benefit from £267 a month to £485 leaving me only £15 rent to find.
my advice to you would be to ask your local council if they have such a scheme , and use to full advantage your need to keep in contact with your daughter, and your concerns over the emotional impact it wil have on her if you are not around on aregular basis.
Beleve me nothing hurts more than having a 3 year old on your shoulders crying his eyes out because you were not going back to the house with him. i had that this afternoon and if i could afford to get smashed i would .
try to keep on good terms with your ex no matter what happens, arguing will only make her dig her heels in or listen to friends that have just crawled out of the woodwork. my ex works in the local pub and i have been there and stood there talking to a guy for over an hour and her him say what an assh**e the bloke she has just left is, and when i said that would be me then to be told you arent anything like she says, so be careful my friend what may seem amicable can suddenly turn very nasty for no reason that you can percieve.
Having said all that i wish you well. jon
Hi Jon and welcome 🙂
I was just about to log out when I read your post...If you want to use the services of a solicitor then you need to find one and apply for Legal Aid by the 31st March. After that date all entitlement to Legal Aid stops for Family Law cases.
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