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My 8 year old son lives with me in Northern Ireland for the last 4 months, his mother, who lives in southern England, is going to court to get him back, by getting a residence order. My question is where should this be heard, in England or where he now lives in Northern Ireland.
Hi Paul 🙂
I would have said it should be local to you, the travelling would be prohibitive for you as it would interfere with school etc.
Wouldnt it be a good idea for you to apply for Residency? As your son already lives with you, it would make more sense, and if you did then It would happen where you are as opposed to where the mother is living.
Maybe you can tell us a little more about your situation,perhaps we can help 🙂
I agree with NannyJane - it should be heard near to where your son lives, ie near you, and if your ex gets a hearing near her, then you should be able to get it transferred to a court near to you. I also agree about going for residency, and as he has been living with you for 4 months, he is settled where he is, so I would say you have a very good chance of getting it.
My son was living with his mother after we split up 3 years ago, I was working overseas at the time. My son came to stay with me when I was home on leave (during school holidays). I always kept close contact with my son by phone and skype. Last November I recieved a report from Social Services about various incidents involving my ex and drinking, this report had been carried out the previous June, but not sent to me, because my ex said she did not know my addresss (lie, she had my address, email, phone and mobile). They spoke to his school and said that I had no contact details for me, the school said "we do, as Paulr contacts us on a regular basis to check on his son's progress". Then during the begining of December I discovered that she had attemted suicide twice, and SS had been involved again. I spoke to SS and expressed my concerns for my son. I was due too pick my son up on the 21st Dec to bring him over to NI for xmas, but on the 14th Dec she made another attempt and SS contacted me and asked if I could come over and collect my son earlier,as they were starting S47 proceedings and there was no one to look after him. I flew over early and brought him back, I informed SS that in light of what had happened I was keeping him with me. I tried to get a emergency order before xmas, but the Judge wouldnt hear it, because he wasnt a resident of NI. He is now enrolled in school here, and with doctors, dentist.
I was going to leave it 6 months then go to court, but she has beaten me to it 🙁
I cannot believe with that record that she is even contemplating trying. She may have beaten you to it, but along with her record, the longer he lives with you, the more settled he will become (and considered to be by the court), so don't do anything to hurry up the process, though make sure you don't go beyond any deadlines.
When you get to court, ask for any reports to be done etc that you think are necessary - this will involve further hearings which all adds to the time your son is settled with you, along with providing evidence to back your case.
Also, offer contact willingly, but say that because of the concerns about your ex (and trying to take her own life is a pretty big concern), that you want all contact to be supervised at a contact centre.
I have 2 reports from SS that are very damming towards her, but I worry about still not going my way, as you hear that courts favour the mother.
My son is very settled and happy, he has a new little sister (18 months old) who he dotes on, and he gets on very very well with my new wife, who loves having him here as well.
From what you have said I too think you have a good chance as far as Residency is concerned. My son has Residency of his son, the mother was unfit and gave him to my son but then wanted him returned....she beat my son in getting the Residency Order application into the court. It made no difference though, once the judge heard about the mothers lifestyle (drink,drugs and child neglect)and reports from SS, he awarded my son Interim Residency in 05/11 at the first hearing, and after a couple more court hearings he got full Residency in 09/11.
Hes been with you for 4 months and by the time it gets to court it will be around six months then as actd says it will be another 2-3months to get all the reports ready for the 2nd hearing. Once a child is settled and doing well courts are loathe to remove them, and as he is bonded with his baby sister this will add more weight, they really dont like to seperate siblings.
Hes happy and settled and with the damning reports from the SS it looks favourable 🙂
The courts are very reluctant to split siblings, and your son now has one so that's added weight to your case - plus you will be arguing that it would be devastating to your 18 month old daughter to suddenly lose her older sibling, wont you? Lots of photos of them together wouldn't go amiss.
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