Received C1A form should I make my own

Hi all, I’ve received a C100 and C1A form and I understand I have to respond to the allegations which are hypocritical and negative to say the least. I would say we have both been abusive and I understand there is why’s called reactionary abuse and usually only one person is the main perpetrator. Thing is I wasn’t expecting a lot of what’s been said to come up and I am wondering if I should enter my own C1A form cataloging abuse events. I do find it hard to articulate things and write them down so I have requested a callback from a solicitor (paid) only 30 mins but I can afford more when and if needed but I can’t get full representation so I’ll be representing myself in court of which there’s no 1 st hearing yet that I’m invited to do I imagine this 1st hearing is between the courts and CAFCASS. I will be detailing emotional and psychological abuse and hoping for the best outcome to get access to my son. She has also brought up historical events that involved another ex partner of mine and my previous 2 children of which that also went through the court process in 2014 and is using that and my past mental health to discredit me. I feel Iam fighting a losing battle but I’ve been told if I do not respond to the allegations and possibly counter them with my own version of events I could be severely limited to seeing my son who is 19 months old. In the past I have been arrested for DV and have 1 conviction but not sentanced for it, it was thrown out of court. I was also abused by me previous ex partner and we had an extremely toxic relationship. I’m wondering if they will dig up the past and use it against me, since moving away 5 years ago from that scenario I’ve been squeaky clean and managed my mental health very well and I’ve not been in any conflict with the police , I have turned my life around so to say until I met this new partner who I would say trapped me in the relationship by getting pregnant, she told me she could not have kids she was told by GPs and a specialist she can’t have them, she however cried when I suggested contraception or protection and exclaimed “don’t you believe me?” It’s goes a little deeper than just that but I feel I was taken advantage of and used to give her what she wants. We spent 2 years togther and it was always very difficult and she manipulated me in a lot of ways and now she is discrediting me greatly. We had social services involved during the pregnancy and up until my son was 3 months old becuse she has 2 previous kids who live with their dad 400 miles away due to a court order and her neglecting them and my children were taken from their mother when I was not there I was in another district and at that time was homeless and had no means to support them and they still live with their grandparents now aged 17 and 19 years old.