Should I go to court for a 50-50 agreement?
New to the forum and looking for views on my chances of reaching a 50-50 agreement.
My wife and I divorced around 3 months ago and she moved out of the family home in April this year with the two children (agreed 6 and 8). My current contact arrangements are limited to two overnight stays a week (Fri/Sat on Week 1 with a return to the ex on Sunday at 5) and Thurs/Fri on Week 2 (return to ex at lunchtime on Sat). In addition to this I collect the children from school one day a week and have them until 18.00. The school holidays are 50-50.
My ex now wants to make a change to this arrangement as her working hours have changed. She now wants a full weekend with the children (which is fair enough). In the three months since they moved out I have complained about the lack of access and requested additional pick-ups/overnight stays but these have been rejected. We do not have an agreed parenting plan or any court order in place (just this agreement between ourselves which I hate). If she now changes our arrangement, I will get less quality time with them but in truth - I just want to be a dad again throughout the week and do bedtimes, dinners, school runs etc.
I have always played a really big role in the children’s lives (including working reduced hours to look after my son one day a week prior to him starting school), 50% of all drop-off and pick ups from March 20 until they moved out and before this I was regularly doing drop-offs and pick ups (every Friday and probably one or two more in the week as standard). They love spending time with me and have no issues whatsoever in spending nights with me.
I now work from home full time and have an agreement with work that I can work around school hours so I could easily have them whenever.
M ex is not prepared for me to have more than two nights with the children but I want to put in place a shared residency arrangement with a 50-50 split on nights. We live 30 seconds from each other now and can easily do any school pick up or drop off. We will soon end up in mediation but there is no way that she will agree to me having them any more than 2 nights a week. I'm finding all the emotional stuff hard to deal with whenever we discuss arrangements and I end up backing down and giving in!
Has anyone able to offer any advice on what they think my chances are going through the courts to obtain a 50-50 split? My solicitor wasn’t very helpful on predicting an outcome although I now know the process I will need to follow,
It will be very difficult to get 50-50 if your ex dont agree. at moment shes offering you 2 nights a week and i assume half of the holidays. would u not be happy with 10 nights out of 28 and half of the holidays. your ex may accept that arrangement if u was happy to. Then u would not need to go through the daunting court process. 10 nights in 28 would be every other weekend pick up from school friday /drop to school monday and then say wednesday every week pick up from school and drop to school in morning.
50/50 agreements are becoming more common, particularly in the London courts. Some are a 10/4/4/10 or similar type arrangement so that weekends are shared. If this is what you'd like, there seems to be no reason not to try for it.
if your ex wants the children for full weekend, but then denies the same to you, then that is obviously unfair. If your going to through courts, then I think you should ask for 50/50. if you can demonstrate that you can meet childrens needs, and be extra flexible with work and school runs, then they might give it.
go for 50/50 all the way, especially if you got no allegations against you. that way your worse outcome will be a little less than 50/50
if you live near by, flexible with your work, have no allegations against you, go for 50/50!!! if you do be careful with all text communications with yr ex, as no doubt she will try to use anything against you.