I'm new here. I need help.
My stbx wife was a passive aggressive bully and, after 24 years of marriage, I finally plucked up the courage to leave her. But, before I could file for divorce, she filed against me!
Anyhoo, we have got decree nisi and are now trying to get through mediation. Stbx is holding out for as much as she can get, but is refusing to sell the house, even though we have agreed that it has to be sold.
Kids are adults, so no problem there.
We will have the money from the house, pensions and incomes only to consider.
The problem is that, even though I moved out, I still pay the mortgage and the bills because she doesn't earn enough. If I stopped paying, the bank would repossess.
I'm living off breadcrumbs whilst she lives happily in the house.
Once we reach agreement, can she refuse to sell the house? If so, how do I legally oblige her to?
Getting very stressed.
Could you approach the lender and ask for interest only payments in the short term, whilst you sort it out? Could you call her bluff and refuse to pay the mortgage, or tell her you're just going to pay half and if the property gets repossessed, you will both lose out.
I'm not all that hot on the financial side of things, but I would assume that she would have to sell if the court ordered it.
I would also advise going for a clean break order to prevent her from going for any future assets.
It's a pity you left the home, it would have been easier to get it sold, it at least there are no children involved, which would have given her a good reason to stay in the family home.
All the best.
These things are very often about money ...
The best advice is never move out of the house - but it is not too late, just move back in. You still own half of it, so there is no legal issue, you will still have a key so just do it. Once you have moved back in (make it clear that you need your own bedroom - if need be lock it) it will be much easier to negotiate a sale and make sure you get your share of the equity.
If you don't do this you will have to wait for the financial settlement to force a sale (or her buy you out), and in that time you will be paying rent elsewhere.
Good fortune.