[Solved] What to do next??

Hi scott88,
Welcome to Dad Talk. I am sorry its taken a few days before we've replied to your post.

You are obviously missing your daughter very much. I think it might help if you could clarify a couple of things.
You were using solicitors, after you split up, so i guess that you were granted a contact order by court.
You say you haven't been able to use your parental rights since you split up with your partner - I'm not sure I fully understand what you mean by this.
Would I be right If i understand that your x partner took you to court and implied you had mental health problems and that this was used in court, without any proof, and this resulted in you getting a contact order for 2 hours a week? Were you represented by a solicitor at court?
Do you know why you had a contact where you had to say your good bye's as opposed to continue having further contact visits? (maybe your x partner went back to court....) Have you done anything since to have your contacts started up again?

In the meantime I will ask our legal experts to try responding to your post - hopefully you might have posted a bit more information before they read your thread. It can take several days for them to add their advice to this thread (or longer if they have a very heavy workload).

Hi

Thankyou for your reply, The last time i seen my daughter was the 27th of december 2008 when i stopped the contact myself as it was too much for my daughter and for me to see her go through it. As for solicitors, I did use one st the begining when i split up with my ex up until the point where i was told there was nothing else i could do at that time. this was in may 2009,the case never went to court and i have just been stuck with no help to getting contact with my daughter. My ex partner had told her solicitor that i had mental health problems and that my ex was only willing to grant me visitation at the contact centre, again not going through court.

Many thanks

Hi again scott88,
Aha, if you haven't gone to court then I think that can be a step to take.
Usually I see that our expert suggests trying mediation as a first way of trying to agree contact arrangements.
If you look through other posts in the Legal Eagle board you can find out about how to start mediation.
Also in other members posts you could read how they were advised about: going to court; getting legal aid if you are legible; representing yourself in court if you don't want to use a solicitor....

I hope this helps you while you are waiting for the Childrens Legal Centre to reply to your post.

Dear Scott 88

You state in your post that you have parental responsbility in your post. Parental reponsiblity means that you will have a say in certain decisions, such as if your ex-partner wished to go out of the UK for longer than 4 weeks or if your ex-partner wanted to change your daughter's surname. Both of these decisions require the consent of every person with parental responsibility. Most major decisions can be made by the resident parent and then if you are not happy with them as the non-resident parent then this can be challenged through the court.

Unfortunately, parental responsibility does not give a right of contact with a child. The children themselves have a right of contact and if the children are considered too young to exercise that right then it is up to the resident parent to decide how much, if any, contact to allow.

There are ways which you can gain a set amount contact with your children. The first option that you should consider is that of family mediation. Most parents who apply to court for a contact order try mediation first. The courts generally like to see that the parents have attempted to resolve the problems themselves. In many instances, legal aid will only be granted where mediation has been tried. If you wish to look further into this option then please contact National Family Mediation on 01392 271610.

If mediation is unsuccessful or your ex-partner refuses to attend then you have the option of making an application to court for a contact order. A contact order is an order made by the court under s.8 Children Act 1989. The order makes clear who shall have contact with the child, how often this will be and how long the contact will be for.

Going to court can be a stressful and expensive experience. It is a 'last resort'. Before making an application for an order parents should seek legal advice. It is possible for a parent to make an application themselves, but there are advantages to being represented by a solicitor. A solicitor will know and understand the process and procedures and can help reach agreements.

The court must only make an order where they consider it would be better for the child to do so rather than making no order at all. To make an application to the court you can either use a solicitor or alternatively act for yourself as a litigant in person.

If you are going to act for yourself because you do not qualify for legal aid then an application to the court can be made by filling out a C100 form and sending it to the court. You can obtain the C100 form by visiting the Her Majesty’s Court Service website ( http://www.hmcs.gov.uk ) or alternatively you can visit your local county court to collect the form. Guidance on how the children and family courts operate can be found by following this link: . There is an application fee of £175. Once the form has been completed you should return it to the court with the fee. The parties involved will receive a date on which to attend court.

The court will make a decision regarding what contact to allow based on what is considered to be in your child’s best interests.

If a contact order is put in place then your ex-partner cannot override this. Your ex-partner will be bound to follow the order and there are penalties for breach of a contact order.

We hope this information has been of use to you. For further clarification regarding this issue or any other issue of child law then please do not hesitate to contact the Child Law Advice Line on 08088 020 008. For further information regarding how to represent yourself in court please contact Families Need Fathers ( http://www.fng.org.uk ).

Kind regards

Children's Legal Centre

This has made me think (steady).

There are penalties for not complying with a court order - does this apply to both sides? The reason I ask is that I have a contact order for my daughter to see her mother once a month. If her mother regularly missed contact, would the court be likely to penalise her for this - this has happened in the past when a previous contact order gave more regular contact, and once the 'honeymoon period' of this amended contact order has passed, I wouldn't be surprised if she started to miss contact again.

Hi Actd

A contact order provides duties to both the resident parent and a non-resident parent as follows:

- a resident parent must provide the child for contact in accordance with the order
- a non-resident parent has an obligation to return the child when stated in the court order.

Your ex-wife will not be in breach of the order for failing to turn up to contact however if she does fail to attend contact on a number of occasions it may be possible for you to take the matter back to court for variation. Consistent failure to turn up for contact times can lead to the contact ultimately being reduced by the court if the non-resident parent cannot commit to it.

We hope this information is of use to you.

Kind regards

Children's Legal Centre

THanks CLC - that is very helpful. Hopefully I won't need to use it, but it's certainly handy to have 🙂

The reduction in the frequency of contact did happen in my case as I did take it back to court for a variation due to frequent non-attendance.