[Solved] a couple of opinions please

Alright there,

Sorry to hear your daughter is in such a state. I'm sorry but if she is in such a poor way and your doctor agrees, then this is a child protection issue and by that I mean that your daughter seems to be being neglected. You have to do something about it! Did your doctor just say this and then leave it there?

If she's covered in fleas then what kind of state is the house in, what is she eating and drinking, is she able to do her homework or play or have friends over or go outside to play, go out etc. etc. What have they said at your daughter's school and are they any help? They could help get you some support if they are willing to help (which they should be). I think maybe you could go to either the school or to a social worker for some advice otherwise your daugher is suffering.

Take it easy,
jc

I've contacted Social services regarding a safety issue and their stance was 'if you have Joint Parental Responsibility for a child it is up to you to take them out of a situation if they are at risk',Unfortunately we couldn't do this as ex had a Residence order in place .I would suggest contacting social services immediately and going and speaking to the head of the school.

thanks for the replys
well the doc said she must come back in 2 then 4 weeks to see how shes getting on also she said a health visitor would be contacting the mother soon ( what they can do i dont know ?) am due to see the teacher this week ( will also ask there opinions on moving schools again as shes well a little behind as it is ) one of my fears is as soon as anybody voices an issue to her shell stop contact now i know this wont stick once going to court but thats to long for me not to see her

ps the state of her house has been a previous issue still not sorted ( have spoken to her family members about this but nothing sems to have happened ) . and on further news due to me refuseing to bring her back till shes eaten a proper sunday dinner i ve been informed im not to see her next weekend dude to them going house hunting

definitely speak to the school. it may not be the best idea to move schools now if your daughter is already going through a lot. ask the school for extra support for her. definitely think about getting some advice from a social worker - someone either you or the school should report that your daughter is being neglected. if you don't do this the situation could get worse and nobody wants the police involved.

good luck and be strong for yourself and your girl. you know what to do for the best

Hi

Firstly welcome to Dadtalk. I'm sorry to hear that you are so worried about your daughter and I hope you are going to get the advice and support you need. It certainly sounds as if she is suffering from neglect, but you are doing all the right things in taking her to the doctor, seeing her teachers and possibly speaking to a social worker. If you don't want to get in touch with a social worker just yet you can always talk it through in confidence with the NSPCC who you can call on 0808 800 5000.

I know you have tried to keep the relationship with your ex amicable and I understand you are fearful she may disrupt contact with your daughter, especially if she decides to move away, but do you think there is any point in trying to calmly talk to her about this and how important it is for your daughter to keep up regular contact.

You can also talk to Parentline Plus on their freephone number 0808 800 2222, http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk who have lots of expertise in dealing with situations such as this.

I hope this helps.

update

after talking with an nspcc advisor it was deemded best to inform social sevices of the current situation now ive done this anonymously so i guess ill never hear about it again .
and also ive been to her school now it would apper she was sent home with this flea/rash condition a week BEFORE i took her to the doc to which mum said she was going to the docs the next day ( soo frustraiting ) i dont need to mention i was never informed of this . now the teacher said that the personal hygine and time keeping were not the best ( however were just in a level where they would not get involed )
now my main concern is her looking at moveing away . her reasoning is work / to be near her boyfriends family ( who she says is now my daughters new family !!!!!) shes never worked full time in her life and by all accounts this boyfriend isnt much better .is there anyway i can make a possible move difficult ( i know i cannot stop it ) as i truly belive the girl would be worse off away from regular contact from me/my family .

ps i do not have pearental responseability but have applyied for it yesterday should i get this from what ive said so far

thanks to anyone who manages to get through that lot and comment

Hi quagmire,
well done for posting a copule of updates, it's been good having a look through what you've written.
It sounds good that you have made sure social services know about your concerns for your daughter's care (or neglect of it). You seem to be getting other small parts of the picture from the school - social services would be the ones to try to get a better picture and decide what action is appropriate.
I don't have any experience similar to your situation but I don't really think it will be helpful to be deliberately difficult about your ex moving. It might even backfire if your ex tells your daugher things you did to deliberately be difficult.
It seems important that you have taken steps to get Parental Responsibility to help you in the future as you keep being involved with her life and wanting the best for her.

hi there,

I'm glad you went to the NSPCC. I think the fleas / rash is just a side effect of other neglect that your girl may be suffering. Social care definitely need to investigate and find out what the home situation is like. Is she being fed? Does she have quality time / space to sleep / go out and have fun etc. etc. That's terrible that the school thought they didn't need to get involved. So much may be happening behind closed doors that they don't know about. Sounds like the school can't be bothered.

Let's hope social care get to the bottom of it and best of luck with getting parental responsibility. Remember to pester social services if they don't act on it. They could go along with what the mum says but until they see the house and talk to your girl, they won't really know, and no one, not even school can make that judgement yet.

Best of luck. I'm glad your daugher has you looking out for her!
jc