[Solved] What will the courts likely grant?

Hi,

My best advice is take what you have and be thankful for it all. I made the mistake of trying to get more and more and more, you really do need the mother on your side. For the time being dont follow up with a C1 or C100 as it might rattle her cage and do more harm than good. I know its tough, you want more and more time with your boy but trust me, this course of action your considering could have devastating consequences, dont rock the boat, keep shtum, keep with what you have and i promise the rest will follow.

As your not on the birth certificate you wont have parental responsibility, reading what you have put up on here im 100% sure all those things would be granted in a court, however it takes up to 9 months to sort it, the mother could feel betrayed and stop you seeing your son then your back to square one, and as much as all admin will say the law is on your side, which it is...the mother is as powerful as the judge and you really dont want to upset her.

All the best

Paul

Thanks for your words and advice. However I need the C1 so not sending that is not an option. I have recently made a complaint to NSPCC and Social Services regarding her but they can not do anything because I have no parental responsibility.

It is not really a case of wanting more and more, it is a case of wanting what is fair and right. I only have one son and I am missing out on being able to take him to some of the places he would love to go to because he is not allowed to stay overnight.

Hi there

I can understand why you would like to get some definition and a schedule of contact that can allow you proper quality time with your son. He is old enough to spend overnights with you and it will free you up make more of your time together.

Once contact progresses to overnights its usual for the court to order a full weekend every fortnight and a weekly midweek visit. As he is pre school you could also ask for a block of a couple of weeks in the summer so that you can take him on holiday, extra time at Easter, alternate christmas and birthdays and Father's Day if it doesn't fall on your weekend.

You could try and ask for a full day on the Sunday's that you don't have him for the weekend, citing the fact that he is already in routine of seeing you every weekend, which has been working well.

You could also request that once he starts school that you have a 50/50 share of all holidays and if your work commitment allows, for your weekend to start on Friday, picking him up from school, until either Sunday evening, of if you are able (because of work) dropping him at school on Monday morning. This would allow you to develop a relationship with his school and allow you to be involved in his education.

Absolutely blinding advice there from MOJO, IMO you're not asking for mega amounts and seeing as you see your son every weekend as it is I can't see why they should be an issue with overnights ect, What I will say is don't try and get to hung up on getting on the birth certificate that just means you have PR and in the real world it doesnt mean a great deal over 90% of them get granted I see you said you wanted it to report your ex which I think is a bit of a no no as unless theres proven signs of child abuse it won't go in your favour at court or to cafcass, I'd just concentrate on getting the contact you want sorted.

I seems to me you're best off getting a decent contact order sorted as that will cut out been dictated to by the ex for the rest of your life the courts ordered I was to see my daughter every week then overnights within a couple of months and now I pick my girl up on a friday and drop her off monday morning will an overnight on a wednesday so it's doable albeit it also took allot of hard work co-operating with the ex which was [censored] hard, working with your ex is key in these situations it might seem mad advice but try and get along with her for the sake of your child as in the long run it makes things so much easier 🙂

Thank you very much for your advice Mr Slim and Mojo.

Mojo- Do I need to go into specifics of what I would like on the "why are you making this order" section or do I give a brief description then go into details at court?

Mr Slim - The parental responsibility isn't purely for social services but it is something I think is my right as I am my sons father and want a legal say in his life in case anything occurs in the future which I object to. Do you see your daughter every weekend when overnights occurred?

Hi There,
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In the box, put a brief outline of what you are wanting, it can be good to ask for slightly more than you would like or at least ask for an amount that you would be happy to compromise on in court as that will always go in your favour, briefly outline your proposal with brief reasons, you will get chance to expamd on this in court, when the judge askes you at the first hearing to outline what you are looking for.
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It can also be good to ask for travel abroad to be covered as this can become a sticking point in the future if your ex doesn't want to allow it, so try and add this in as well, you don't have to have plans to travel, but it will give you the option later down the line if you want too and you won't have to return to court for it, all being well.
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Also don't forget that if you are asking for fathers day if it doesn't fall on your weekend or time that you have him, to suggest the same for mothers day, you could also include yours and your ex's birthdays too on the same basis.
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GTTS

...no you don't need to go into depth on the form, if you prepare a brief position statement to take to court with you you can go into more depth then.

Just explain that your son spends full days with you every weekend but you feel that you are both ready to extend contact to include overnights away from his mothers home and that he has expressed the wish to do so. That you would like the order to reflect his growing wishes and feelings and allow you both to spend real quality time together, which would include extra time for holidays.

Yeah man we sort of built up to it over a 6 month period but I hadn't seen my girl pretty much since birth and she was just coming up 1, it started with 1 hour every 2 weeks in a contact centre for 8 weeks then 2 hours every 2 weeks for 8 weeks then 4 hours each week supervised by her sister then 4 hours every week on my own for anothe 8 weeks then overnights started when she was around 18 moths old then its now ended up as fri-mon every week and overnight on a wednesday 🙂

Fantastic. Than ks again for all of your replies. My only concern was that the court would make it for me to see my son every other week and I think I would feel lost if I had to go that long without seeing him.

I think you will be ok the courts don't like upsetting the apple cart and love kids to keep their routine and what they are used to so seeing as you have your child every week as it is they more than likely will want to keep the weekly arrangement going, I point blank refused to even entertain that every other weekend business and argued that as I never seen my girl for so long and her age it would be difficult to build my bond back up with her and to my surprise they agreed and agreed with me again when I had to go back to court a couple of month back. try not to over complicate things what you're asking for is just a natural progression in parenting going from every week through the day to overnights it seems completely doable to me 🙂

Some judges won't like every weekend, others will want to stick the status quo. It will also depend on what the mother will agree to - the courts usually push hard to get you to agree the pattern for contact, if they can't get you to do that, they will list a contested final hearing and make the decision for you. Bog standard contact is usually every other weekend but with some contact in the intervening week so that your child doesn't have 10 or 11 day gaps from having time with you.
It's worth asking for a little more than you would like so that you can be seen to compromise if necessary.