Hi All
So a little back ground . My wife had a very bad labour and we nearly lost our child. But every thing is great now and we have a very healthy 2 year old. Who we both love. My wife keeps talking about 2nd child and it scars the [censored] out of me. All I can remember is the pain she was in and my child having CPR.
I have said no and don't want to go though this again. We are full on at each other about this. She is saying I need to speak to some one and get this off my chest. I am happy to.
(A) I have no idea who to speak to
(B ) I am not sure it is going to do any good.
Has any one else been though this or going though this any advise would be amazing.
Huge thanks
hi,
has a doctor given a view about her, such as pregnancy risks? if not, perhaps you should speak to your wife so she can get checked out.
if I was in your position i would not be put off. who knows, if she has another child, the birth could be completely normal. you could also consider speaking to your doctor. maybe they could refer you for therapy/counselling if the first birth was a very traumatic experience for you.
Definitely speak to your GP, and get referred. Now they know about the issues, they can be prepared (maybe a cesarian) - don't let your experience put you off, not without getting facts as to the dangers and how they can be mitigated.
My ex had a child before I met her, she had a bad experience with his birth and seemed to put her off. We lost a baby 4 months in to the pregnancy, that was followed by an ectopic pregnancy too, when she fell pregnant with our first child, i was stressed out the full 9months, I struggled to get excited as when we lost the other two, it killed me. I was only going to be excited when that child was born and healthy. Some parents do have one bad birth and the others are fine.
I am not sure what happened during your wifes birth, but maybe suggesting a c-section would be less stressful on you both?
Hello RedBullAndy,
I am sorry to read that both you and your wife have been through some really challenging times, but also very pleased to read that you have a healthy now 2 year old! Personally speaking, I would defiantly recommend you speak with someone like a counsellor who specialises in trauma. I had counselling after my partner and I had our first child, due to the whole experience being traumatic. It enabled me to let all my feelings out with out thinking I was going to upset my partner. I went to see my GP and it was arranged. It must be taking courage for your wife to want to have another baby too, so try as much as you can to keep communication going between you both. Make time for just the two of you and tell her how you feel and why you feel it. Although a c - section has been suggested, whilst it can be necessary, it is still a major operation and not to be taken lightly, due to the recovery time afterwards.
Wishing you both all the best,
Kind Regards, Fegans Parent Support Volunteer