Hi, sorry to hear you are going through what hundreds of dads are going through. I am in the same situation, i have a non mol order and injunction against me. In order to get this processed by wife has also made up stories of violence and child abduction. I have not seen my daughter for 7 months now. I have been to court numerous times and have been disgusted at the attitudes of the judges. Their message along the lines of 'you need to sort this out between you'. Thats great, but if you have an injunction against you its only going to get you put in prison!
The hard part to deal with is that any woman can do this and get away with it with no questions asked. It is unfortunate that many of the replies are sorry messages and there does not seem to be a solution to this type of problem.
Does anyone know if there are any organisations fighting the courts, legal profession and processes? Surely this is something that needs to go to parliament? If anyone knows of anything out there i would love to know.
There are the usual ones such a Fathers 4 Justice....not advisable if you have an ongoingg case.
Domestic violence is a hot potato and I doubt you will find many MPs willing to take it on....I wish there were a solution, but since legal aid was removed in family law, except for cases where there has been domestic violence, the number of litigants making such allegations is rising steadily.
You might be interested to find out more about Philip Davies MP for Shipley who has secured a parliamentary debate on International Men's Day on November 19th to discuss issues for men. He might be someone that would lend a sympathetic ear.
In UK if someone makes false allegations against you and keeps you away from the child, they can get away and there is no fine for that. In Europe, some countries carry up to 30 000 euros fine for obstructing a contact and making false allegations. If same law would be in UK, many things would change and it would make to think twice someone who is in mood to make stories.
Hi im sorry you are having such a bad time, my ex did exactly the same took a non molestation order claiming domestic violence when what she was referring to was when we would have a row we would both say some unsavoury things..i couldn't believe the lies she had told..i also got arrested for breaking the order and locked up for 13 hrs and taken to court the next day and all I did was phone to say can you reply to my messages regarding our daughter, which she agreed in court I could contact her by txt message only to arrange contact and welfare for my daughter..so fell into her trap, I was back in court on 19/11/15 regarding breaking the order the judge was very understannding to my circumstances as I have seen my daughter everyday for all of her life(8years) and he partly blamed my ex for not responding to my messages and I walked out with just a small fine phewww!!
The only reason they claim domestic violence is so that they can get free legal aid where as we have to pay for it..
she even got intouch with the child maintenance service stating I had no visitation which then entitled her to top whack money off me which is 4809 per year, and if I had the two nights I want she would lose 1600 per year so the whole system is all in favour of the women.
I have just applied for a contact order so just waiting for a hearing date from the courts how long I do not know as its killing me not seeing my daughter which has been nearly two months now, I still get messages from my daughter on whatsapp stating she loves me lots so that's a little consolidation....I cant wait to hear what nonsense she will come out with in court to try and stop me seeing my daughter...
keep your chin up mate, I know its hard but you need to do everything by the book now, I learned that the hard way, its difficult when your emotional but please don't get intouch with her and go through a solicitor from now on..
There will be light but we all need to be patient and we will prove what lying manipulative people these really are..
keep us updated and I will do the same
all the best
take care
My Son is going through a similar experience - like you I was outraged that such damaging false allegations could be freely made with total impunity; and that the whole legal process is seemingly biased in favour of the Mother.
I took the advice given on the Forum - concentrate on going forward rather than the injustice , which was good advice in the circumstances as dealing with moving forward is hard enough and in my case , focusing on the injustice was emotionally 'eating me up'.
However , in principle , I really do feel that a concerted effort should be made to tackle these apparent injustices , which so few people seem to know or care about , other than Fathers going through the system , and the Legal Profession, whom it appears to me actually benefit from it ( and IMO ) encourage such false allegations as a means for their clients to access legal aid as victims of 'domestic violence'.
Whilst I appreciate Forum Members fighting a case , and those Members of the Forum who freely give their time to help them with guidance and emotional support already have a big enough job on their hands, without trying to tackle the broad injustices of the system.
At the same time , I can't help thinking 'why is it that such gross inequality against Men is allowed to continue, and who , if anybody , is fighting this injustice'?
I am completely with you Mamabear, something does need to be done.
Before I became immersed in raising my twins (who I am now trying to gain access to) I had a radio show which aired on around 150 stations - many piddly little internet stations but others a little larger (FM).
I'm bringing the show back. It's about people's lives and their problems.
Usually, I read out written dilemmas but I also take calls in the odd show.
I'd like to do one covering the stories - my own included - of total injustice where the legal system has failed our children abysmally.
Would you be interested in taking part?
Anyone else?
The situation is so disgraceful and whilst sites like this and the odd page on Facebook do very well at fire fighting for us dads, I think it's high time this whole issue was brought to the fore.
If we can't look after our children, our futures are doomed. Nobody out there seems to grasp that.
Why don't we have a go at making them listen?
Just to add to this thread:
I had court case with Child maintenance regarding extortionate fees they have been taking from my wages. I was waiting for one year and 3 months for this to come to the courts. Judge couldn't do anything or didn't want to, but handed me letter that my ex wrote to them. In that letter she is still claiming that I am abusing her and cohesively controlling her. For last 10 years, I been living 110 miles from her, we don't speak at all, just over txt messages and in that letter she is asking court that I pay Child Maintenance only through Collect and Pay...what was happening for last whole year.
It is really shocking that in UK, you cant do nothing to stop false allegations,