So i had my first mediation today which was horrendous, after going in last week on my own and the mediator saying she was impartial and can be as slow as i want i got rail roaded into an agreement in which my daughters dad can see her twice a week. she's two and a half and seen him a handful of times hes an alcoholic drug addict. claims to be clean for 16 months which is a load of twoddle but i have no proof. He laughed in my face at a load of home truths and facts coz he knows it winds me up. I bit my lip when he sat there and bare faced lies coz im to emotionally drained and its not worth wastin my breath an gettin angry to argue. The mediator has been sucked in by his [censored] and has as good as said she believed him . And she as good as passed of drug testin as a waste of time. so sick with it all. Any help ideas anything anyone please
You can't be forced into allowing contact everything in mediation is not legally binding, I hate mediators just as much as solicitors they are all on the gravy train to rinse you out of much money as possible, If he want contact let him take you to court for contact and get him to do drug tests to prove he's clean I had to before they would let me anywhere near my daughters. Just don't allow contact until he's done his tests I would.
Slim's right. Mediation is not legally binding. You could ask for another session and insist on tests to prove he is clean before upholding your part of the agreement. If you believe contact is not safe, you can let it progress to a court application and these tests will probably be ordered. I would write to him or request another session and make it clear in writing that you are not against contact but would like to be satisfied that it safe to leave the child with him unsupervised. You could suggest supervised contact as an interim arrangement?
it is supervised contact. I dont ever think i will ever be ready until she's old enough to do things for herself as he is useless to leave her unsupervised. I know thats not realistic. The mediator/solicitor basically passed off drug tests as not worthy as they are only good for the day they are taken. I'm really not happy with the results of the mediation as he just sat there and lied about a lot of things or played them down, i know he is still doing drugs and i am so scared hes goin to ruin her life as he has his other 2 kids. his other 2 kids dont want to see him coz of how he is, which he denied in the medation. I am so down an stressed out with all of this. plus he was gutted that it would be my dad doin the contact and not me, which to me is proof that its me who he wants to get to, he has not bothered about r daughter since she was born.
The court will order a 3, 6 0r 12 month hair strand drug test they cannot be cheated so he will have to be clean for 3,6 or 12 months whatever they order they are [censored] expensive too and have to be taken my a court approved company so I'd be pushing for that, don't take to much notice of what the mediator or solicitors say they are all full of S**t.
I would also ask the court to add the liver function test to that for alcohol abuse.