So, after 1 1/2 years of court hearings and CAFCASS meetings the judge has recently agreed for my ex to emigrate to Oz, My 14 year old daughter is now residing in a suburb of Brisbane, I don't know the address and I have no contact with her mother. I speak regularly to my daughter via I-message/FaceTime but it is hard at the moment. Initially my daughter didn't want to go but over the last year she has been manipulated and brain washed into believing that moving to Australia, leaving her family (I have a big family including 3 grandparents aunts, uncles and cousins) and friends behind is a good idea.
We are very close, we spent every weekend together, doing all kinds of stuff but I must admit that over the last few months, as she has been turning from a girl into a fully blown teenager/woman she has been more tricky to please at the weekends especially as she wants to sleep until midday! Music and boys have become more important in her life than her Dad so maybe a move to Oz for a few years will do her good. Obviously I am gutted....more than gutted...devastated, but I suppose life goes on and, hopefully, she'll return in a couple of years when she realises that Austrailia ain't all it's cracked up to be especially when you take away the sun, BBQ's and beaches!
It is odd having my weekends free to do whatever me and my partner want to do, most of my mates are tied up with their kids and will be for years to come.....South London ain't a cheap place to get a flat these days! Emotionally, I'm going to struggle at first, being a Dad was the most important job in my life, I relished the challenge of keeping her amused and happy when I had her....Still, as long as she's happy eh? I am supposed to have her for 4 weeks in December, I have a court order than stipulates this but not having any contact with her mother makes me doubt if she will come back at all! I can 'mirror' the court order in Australia but it is a hassle.lets just hope it doesn't come to that. The bottom line is that she's happy, I know I will get used to not seeing her every weekend and I have had the best years of her childhood up until now....if any of you out there need any advice on what to do in this situation get in touch I mapy be able to help and remember life goes on....glass half full and all that!!!
Thank you for posting that - I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you to have to handle this. Perhaps, if she doesn't come over (hopefully she will do though) , you and your partner can go over there for a holiday in a year or two, or maybe, when she's a bit older, meet her for a holiday in a different country altogether where you can spend time with her away from her home distractions.
I spoke to her 5 minutes ago...she's really happy, going to a private school, a house with a pool. 10 minutes from the beach. And she confirmed that she's coming back in early December for 4 weeks so everything is good. I must admit that in this day and age where we have facetime/Skype its a lot easier, I can see her whenever I want and visa versa so.....lets get on with our lives!
That is an excellent mentality considering the situation! Live a happy life and enjoy your christmas holidays with your daughter!
4 days until she's here! Must admit that along with feelings of TOTAL excitement there's a little bit of nervousness in there as well, we've got loads planned, off to the Cologne Christmas market next week, I'm sure we'll go shopping in Camden market and then Up to Norfolk for New Year. I've re-decorated her bedroom and put a flash hifi in there!
Can't wait for that first cuddle in 3 months with the person that means the world to me! 🙂
Hi!
Hope you had a great Xmas with your daughter! I've just joined this site today and your's is the first post i've come across with a situation similar to mine. So i'd appreciate any advice you can give! i've been divorced for 5 years now. I have 2 kids, currently aged 10 and 7. I see them every other weekend, and get to take them on holiday 2 weeks a year which is great. However, i've just been hit with a bombshell. Their mother is planning on moving away with them, somewhere thats a 6 hour drive away (realistically more like 7 or 8 knowing Englands roads :-(. She said i can still see them fortnightly and she will meet me half way. The kids are gonna love spending 12 hours in a car once a fortnight...NOT! Does anyone think this is reasonable? Can I do anything about it? Thanks for any advice!
Hi there
It depends on the reasons she has for moving away, if she has family where she is moving to, or perhaps she is moving for work, then it's very difficult to try and stop this happening.
I personally don't think it's fair to expect young children to spend that amount of time travelling every two weeks and you may find that once a month is more realistic. It's good that she is offering to do half of the travelling to meet you half way, but this may be a sweetener that is rescinded once the move has taken place.... Sorry for my cynicism!
It might be worth trying Mediation to try and negotiate more blocks of time. So that you have a bigger share of all school holidays, half terms and Easter and Xmas. Also Skype or FaceTime 2or three times a week....not ideal I know, but others in a similar situation can make it work.
Best of luck