Long story short, over the last 7 years my ex has been trying to rid me from my kids lives altogether. It's been through court 5 times with her feeding absolute bs with the courts believing her, she twists things, creates things from nothing, the lot. All the way through it's been one step forward two steps back. It's come to a head now, she's moved 300 miles away with her new fella. She's broke the court order by refusing the usual weekend access a couple weeks before she moved, but she's got herself covered by saying my step daughter is a bully and threatened by daughter with a knife. Obviously this is rubbish concocted from her buttering toast because they make their own breakfast. Apparently this makes me irresponsible. Anyway, contact has been reduced to texts. However me and my wife have a strong suspicion that my ex is sending the texts as if she's the kids.
I can't afford the legal fees anymore for any courts. Credit cards are already maxed and I'm riddled with debt from all the previous times. Essentially, I'm out of options. Texting what I know is my ex is destroying me. I can't cope anymore. As awful as this sounds, I feel like I should just give up trying anymore, and concentrate on giving my son and two step daughters a normal as possible life. And hope my girls remember who I am and come back when they're old enough to. They want to live with me now but aren't being given the option. My ex even over ruled Cafcass somehow. I think she knows people in high places.
I'm trying to keep up the text contact but it's destroying me. I don't know what to do
Hi There,
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I can see where your coming from as at times things get just too much.
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From my view I would give court one last try and represent yourself so that you are keeping the costs down, you have been through the court process so know what to expect if there is an order in place then it would be an enforcement order that is needed to try and get the contact started again, you will have a battle by the sounds of things as your ex has made claims about your step daughter but I would imagine that Cafcass would get involved again and maybe even speak with the children to get to the bottom of things.
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GTTS
I know why you'd say give it another try. I'd say the same to others probably. If it was just me, I would. But like I say I've got the other side of my family to consider too.
My ex is making all sorts of daft accusations. She's already had social services at my step daughters school, and keeps hinting about our care for our son (type 1 diabetic). Obviously there's no issues, but his control isn't absolutely perfect, like any didactic never mind a 4 year old. But would a court look at it realistically? They've never done before. So I've no reason to think they would now. I've lost all faith in the legal system.
I can't do any more. Not unwilling, not even at the end of my tether with it. But it's about the potential risk to the other kids. The situation is now back at the start line. Going back carries too much risk. I've already accepted it in a factual sense, but I'm struggling within myself to be at ease with the realisation. I can only hope that when they're old enough to not be controlled by their mother that they will give me the time to explain and still want me as their dad.
It sounds heartless and make me hate myself. But I've accepted the decision. But I can't seem to cope with it
Hi There,
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I can see that this isn't an easy decision, and can understand if you have got to the point where continueing to fight is going to cause more issues and damage then there has to be a point where you stop, many people and some on here won't agree with that view, but when you are trying to protect your children sometimes that is the only decision you can make.
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If you are going to stop trying then maybe you can start a diary for the children, righing out thoughts and keep it safe for when hopefully in the future you do see them again, have a keep safe box and put little things away, things that you see that remind you of them, just little things that you can show them further down the line that they were always in your thoughts.
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GTTS