Hi im David , a single Father / Parent with my Daughter who i have brought up since 3 days old who lives with me under a residence order .
I was seeing a girl last year for around 3 month's . We ended due to her moodyness etc . Around 3 week's after we finished she rang me to tell me she was pregnant , we spoke and decided that we would try and make a go of it , unfortunately this didnt work and we ended again around a month later .
I explained to her that even though we were not together i would still step up to the plate as i have done with my 1st daughter and be there for my new daughter as much as i could and of course support her financially . Time went by and it was around Christmas time that she asked if there was any chance we would get back together , i said no . Around January time she text to ask if i would pay half towards a travel system , i said i would and that it was no trouble and wired the money into her bank account . After this time around February she moved without informing me of where she had gone . When i contacted her she said it had nothing to do with me and that she would tell me when she needed too .
Our daughter was born in May this year , she did not let me visit the hospital to see our daughter .
To start with she was letting me and my daughter visit at the home , we had a 1 hour visit , then a 45minute visit and the she decided that she didnt want us in the home and said that we would have to meet in public . In totla since May we have seen the new baby for around 2hrs10mins .
The next time we met i decided to bring up the fact that i wasnt happy about only seeing my daughter / my childs sister once a week and explained that i was due some time off work could i possibly see her twice that week . She denied us . I said i had rights and then she turned around and said she had already registered the birth and put father unknown on the birth certificate . This was 11 weeks ago . I have now not seen my new daughter / childs sister for that time . Before all this i had no doubts that the baby was mine buyt due to the ex's action's / behaviour i now have that small element of doubt .
I have started legal proceedings to be able to obtain a dna test , be put on the birth certficate and then contact arrangements , i am awaiting a court date . In the mean time i have agreed to mediation and my ex agreed to it too but twice she has just cancelled near the time of the meetings .
Today i recieved a letter from the Child Maintenance Service advising me that she had been in touch and that i need to pay so much a week starting next week .
I have refused to pay at this point in time as i have no proof that the baby is mine . Now i understand that the CMS may instruct me to do a dna test , i am awaiting that to be done through mediation / court as the fee is covered by legal aid if done through mediation . The fee is around £250 through the CMS .
Can anyone help / advise me where things can or are going from here ? or anyone been in a similar situation ?
With regards to the maintenance, you can dispute parentage in which case the CMS will require that you undertake a DNA test. You will be required to pay this, though it should be refunded if it proves that you you aren't the father, and child maintenance is payable until the test proves you arenb't the father.
On the basis that you think you are the father, and are presumably expecting the DNA test to confirm this, there probably isn't any point in fighting the maintenance order. The fact that she has claimed maintenance from you might be able to be used in court to get you PR.
If you contact the CMS and tell them that you are disputing parentage and have started legal proceedings they shouldn't require you to do a further test. You will have to pay the amount they have asked you to, but as long as you make them aware that you are disputing parentage, if the DNA test comes back that you are not the father, then you should be refunded any maintenance you've had to pay. Of course if it's proven you are the father then your payments will just continue. Just keep the authorities informed of any developments.
All the best
Thankyou actd and Mojo , i appreciate you taking time out to reply .
As it stand's at the minute , i have disputed parentage on the grounds of her behaviour / actions / and things she has said . I am not going to make the payments diorectly to her at this point in time but i am going to put the payments away incase i need to pay .
There is a chance that the baby is mine and thats why im fighting for a dna test , P.R. and also contact arrangements .
The plan was to be amicable and mature about this but its looking like the other party simply isnt mature enough .
I'll keep you updated on my progress .
P.S The system is all wrong how they work the payments out , not fair at all .
Thanks again : )