Hi all,
First post for some time. I met with my ex and her boyfriend in an attempt to move forward. On reflection they spent most of the time explaining while all my concerns were wrong and nitpicky. The one good outcome was the agreement that she would provide a list of dates to see our son every two weeks and would keep to it within reason. This hasn't happened, I've had to remind her for every new list since the meeting, sometimes waiting over a week since the last one ran out. She treats it like I'm being controlling by asking her to provide times and seems to work from the 'no one will tell me when I can see my son'.
On Sunday I arranged a party for my son and asked her to have him at the venue for 9.45. Her boyfriend dropped him off just after 10 (last of 16 to arrive). I let it go as I was busy organising, it later son said the boyfriend went d met his football team for 40 mins having left the house . Son said he was crying in the car as he was worried about being late.
I made ex aware, she (as ever where an apology would be appropriate), completely ignored that part of my text, whilst responding to other parts.
My problem is, the list for Christmas period has 8 days where, if followed, 10 year old will have alternate nights between us. I think this is unsettling for him at his age. He will already be tooing and froing from Christmas eve to boxing day, but I think not having two nights in the same bed for that long is not good. What do you think out there?Am I looking to criticise unfairly? I let lots of stuff go for an easy life but when he is effected or I feel she's putting her needs before his I feel duty bound to flag it up?
Also, she has asked me to pick him up on Christmas eve and boxing day - is it OK to ask why? I am unsure about transport, she clearly feels its an equal responsibility and I do lots of dropping off and picking up but I suspect this is just easier for her and am not happy if that's the case (this week she was going to drop him home at 6.15am before school until I offered to pick him up the night before).
Look forward to hearing your thoughts
Seasons Greetings
CW70
I suppose there are two choices here - either to see if you can work on what you already have to firm it up a little more, or if that's not working, then suggest mediation to see if being a little more official will help to settle the matter - you can always say that you'd rather try mediation in the hope that it means you don't need to go to court - that might help her to focus a little.