[Solved] appling for contact for a child that is not mine
I split two years ago with my partner of over 7 years, all though on paper we lived in separate homes we where pretty much living together (summer at hers winter at mine)
I had my two children live with me after courts gave me residence order and PR over both the children. One being my step daughter.
My ex had a son that is 13 in a few months time, I played a major role in his life more so as he lost his real dad in a bike crash when he was 4.
Two year ago now me and his mum split but I still carried on seeing the child as if I was his dad, This went on for 18mths with contact taking place on a very regular basis. Regular being almost every week apart from when the went away for a mth on holiday. after they came back it was every weekend and sometimes during the week.
All of a sudden this has stopped which in turn is upsetting the child to a point he now rides his bike to mine and has done on a few times without his mum knowing and against her will since she informed me that contact is stopped between us.
Because she has found out that he has been coming to see me and has unblocked me from his phone , whatsapp, facebook ect to still keep in contact with me she has gone and got an non molestation order out on me. she has had me arrested 3 times on allegations and after over 3 hours of police interviewing iv not been charge and no further action being taken. some quite serious allegations.
In court for the nmo she fully admitted that im not a threat to her or the child and said in fact you couldnt get a better man as a dad and has never shown her violent behaiour towards her or the child. ( mm used this to get the ex parte order mind) Trail being heard in a few mths
As it stands I must not contact the ex or have any conmuications with the child what so ever.
I wondering if anyone knows how or whether i can apply to seek contact as this is also what the child wants too or any information regarding this.
many thanks in advance
It would be possible to apply for a Child Arrangements Order for contact,but I think you may have to ask for permission to apply first, you do that with form C2 and would attach form C100 along with the C2. The C100 is to apply for contact.
Once the application is submitted the court may decide to wait until the NMO matter is concluded before dealing with the contact issue.
The children that live with you also have the right to a relationship with their brother too and I would certainly include that in your application, along with the fact that the child himself has a strong wish to be a part of your lives, and at 13 his wishes and feelings should be taken into account.
Some solicitors offer a free initial consultation, and some areas have free law clinics where you can get advice on family law, it would just be a matter of googling free law clinics in your area.
All the best
Thank you for that information , My children are 20 and 21 (have a grandson too now) My son (20) is still allowed to pop down and see him as they are xbox mad and that she has blocked also any contact via xbox live ect. She doesnt have a problem with mu son and hers keeping in contact all though when my son asks to take him out for the day its always " maybe next month"
My son and daughter still have a good relationship with my ex.
I do believe that the NMO is all about stopping me from appling for contact and the fact his grandma supports contact between us and has said next time she is down to visit she will pop over to see me with the child. (Grandma is the child's real dads mum) .
She also knows that I will have a fantastic report from social services , school and youth workers regarding my own children and has during the NMO given me a fantastic opinion of me as a father figure. Her own words " he has been a great father figure to my son that my son looks up to him and they have a fantastic friendship together, I couldnt ask for a better man to be in his life" then goes on to say " but im deeply saddened that after 18 mths I have had to stop contact between them" and that although he wishes to see me still " he will get over it " Not one friend can understand why she is being the way she is and again the NMO we all feel is to justify her decision.
Im hoping during the NMO trail the judge will see through her as its very clear when a new boyfriend appears on the scene she has got me arrested and when she makes allegation against me. We have never had an arguement or a slagging match between each other and I personally believe alot of this is due to her mental illness.Its only when i have approched these boyfriend in a very civil and friendly manner is when im arrested.Manly I feel because they have questioned me just who am I and shocked to find out she was with me and iv been seeing the child. The current BF was baffled as hell regarding who I was and why she lied to him regard a function he couldnt attend with her. Basically I asked him why he never attended my function with her to his reply she told him she went to a scouts function that only scouts and leaders were allowed to go. hence i think he went back and questioned her and way hey im arrested 3 hours later.
She has cause me great stress messing with my finances over the last two years which again I have just taken on the chin and even then not what you would call had ago at her. You cant get into an arguement with her as if she dont like something she will just shut you out with complete silence and not reply. A lot of her actions towards me I have put down to her mental illness, as frustrating as it is I put up with it for the child sake.
I noticed on the c100 form that mediation has to be attended before I can apply. would bringing up i'm applying for contact be a good idea during the NMO case as to get the ball rolling so to speak. The NMO i am only contesting due to the fact it includes I must not have any contect what so ever with him.
I did offer an undertaking to the court giving her everything she wants (a very long list) but I mentioned I wished for contact to resume once a month and to be able to give presents at festive time ect.. This was turned down.
In my opinion, from what you say, I would have advised that you contest the NMO anyway.
The C2 form has multiple applications, one is to ask for permission to make an application, as I mentioned, the second is to add a new direction or application to existing proceedings... I would think you could tick both of those boxes.
The reason I didn't suggest mediation is because there's an NMO involved so mediaton isn't appropriate.
If you wanted to hold off on making the application until the next hearing, you can prepare the application forms (C2 and C100) and have them with you for the next hearing, but when in court ask if the court will agree to include Child Arrangements in the existing case, the judge will either agree or direct you to make a formal application using the forms, if you have them with you you can produce them and ask the judge will if he accept them there and then.
Some courts will accept just the C2 form, but recently we have had a court insist on a C100 form to submitted with the C2, so just covering bases. I would certainly seek some proper legal advice, as I mentioned earlier, just for clarification.
Alll the best
Here's a link to an offer of a free telephone consultation with a qualified family lawyer from Dialogue First, in partnership with Dad.info.
That was just the information I was looking for and I like the idea of handing it in on the day too. thanks.
The fact the NMO is going to trail and I felt I wasnt being heard is im told a result for me. Iv had a chat with a specialist solicitor on NMO and he recons the Judge was just giving her time to think long and hard first and given her the chance to come up with the so called police statement regarding the allegation my ex wife so called made back in 1999. . If this isnt back up and iam 100% it wont be , with what she said in court on monday he cant see this going any further, more so as iv offered an under taking which im told could be a result if i take one out as part of the undertaking will be her undertaking that contact continues.
He also said I could also ask for the under taking to contain a condition that will prevent her from being vexatious towards me in the future. To me I want the best for the boy and if i can use this bollocks to resume contact in some way then i feel i have a result.
I know it looks as though im letting her win but IMO its not about me or her its all about a young lad that has lost enough in his life already let alone go through all this bullshit.
My only concern about the NMO is the fact i sounded angry in interview the last couple times and on leaving gave the police a very hard time but i did state in interview that i wasnt angry at her but more frustrated with them for arresting me for taking action base on complete faburcation from her.. ie why was i parked outside hers? well i was working as the customers lived next door, ... why did i turn up to my own function ? err because it was my function. why was i waiting at a stop and give way , then proceed to follow her? err the cudesac leads on to a one way system. and I live in that culdesac ... hang on a min what about what was she doing in in my village, whats happen about her running me over in her car? honestly i spend over 3 hours answering questions like that, the only serious allegation was i did i ram her old BF of the road 6 mths ago? mmm if this happened why didnt he report it there and them, not be funny he was with her when she got me first arrested so should have be 2nd nature for him to report such allegations ,, AND now i have to answer stuff that apparently happened 20 year ago... frustrated ent the word but if it helps the lad and contact it will be all well worth it.. Oh yeah when asked about the boy I did say to police I will never ignore the child and if i have to see the inside of the cell walls then so be it.. whether that might go against me i dont know ..
sorry ranted abit there but thanks again i feel I have a good case all round now
I would advise doing the same. Take a C2 with you and hopefully the court will accept that for permission and the actual application (it's very rare that they won't, but there's always the odd one as Mojo says!). If you have a completed C100 with you as well, you can submit if the court insists.
Definitely sounds like you should be contesting the non-mol too.
All the best
Sounding promising . downloaded the C2 and C100 forms , still not sure if to hand in on the day or submit it in before hand.
The only thing Im a little concerned about is my past history, it's not good with the police and iv been charged and convicted on a fair few convictions over the years although they are over 10 years ago. Nothing against women apart from ex wife once made an allegation but dropped the charges in the end, Im told my past history may be what the police are going to be a witness for but it really didn't effect me when getting PR and residence order for my Step Daughter.
Iv been nothing but a sound bloke to my ex even after splitting and still think its all because she has a new bloke now, likewise back in March on my first arrest. I know the Grandparents said a sly comment over Xmas when they asked about me and wasnt too keen to hear about the new bloke, " oh another 6 mth wonder in and out of the childs life)" I do have their backing but also they say that they have to have loyalties to her regarding them seeing the boy. which is understandable ..
I guess ill have to wait really till she puts forward her case in in few weeks time,,
tbh you may as well take with you on the day as the court admin moves so slowly, they might not get it before the hearing & you'll also more than likely have to submit both which will incur extra court costs
Over 10 years is likely to be considered historic so I wouldn't worry about that too much & these aren't the issues the mother is citing anyway.