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6yo behaviour

 
Lostinblac
(@lostinblac)
Estimable Member Registered

Hello everyone.

I've got a 6yo and there's an issue that constantly bugs me.

She is really interested in willy's and private parts. More male then female but in general.

There's been a few occasions when we've caught her trying to look at a friends willy or a female friends private parts.

I understand kids are curious and the teacher caught her once and had a word with her bur is this normal?

I stopped having baths with her a long time ago when I started to notice this. Today she came home with notes from a boy saying ill show my willy to you if you show yours to me. I understand there 6yo kids and its not in a sexual way but it's hard to deal with it without snapping at her.

The kids all this happend with are all innocent kids away in land of fairy's but it still really frustrates me.

I've been looking online and aparntly it is normal to a degree but it's just dealing with it.

 

Does anyone else's kids do this atall

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 21/01/2022 6:08 pm
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

Hi,

I have kids aged 8,5 and 3 and I would find that behavior very odd. Most probably there is bad influence from other kids in school. You could raise concerns at school. Is this a child you have with your ex partner?

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Posted : 22/01/2022 8:30 am
Champagne
(@champagne)
Reputable Member

There are a couple of videos on U tube that might be helpful.  'My private parts belong to me' and 'talk pants' with a pants song and my body belongs to me.  I guess its meant for dealing with inappropriate adult behaviour but you might be able to use it

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Posted : 22/01/2022 9:13 am
Lostinblac
(@lostinblac)
Estimable Member Registered

@bill337 thanks  for the reply no she's me snd my partners daughter full time. It happend again tonight we are going to bring it up with the school tomorow it does worry me mentioning something of that nature to a school. Do you know what will happen ?

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 23/01/2022 7:54 pm
Champagne
(@champagne)
Reputable Member

I agree that talking to the school is a good plan.  They should know how to deal with it and it's unlikely not to have happened before.  They can advise you what to say at home

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24/01/2022 10:22 am
Clarinet
(@clarinet)
Estimable Member Registered

Hello Lostinblac,

Thank you for sharing your concerns and feelings about your daughters curiosity in the human body. Before going any further I would like to suggest that a child who shows interest in the human body  - it is not shameful or rude, but I would suggest that how it is managed and talked about is important. I hope the following suggestions help in some way:

1. I would strongly suggest that you set up an appointment with the school and if you still have the note that your daughters school friend wrote to her, show this to the teacher and relay your concerns to them. It maybe that at 6 years old the other child in question does not fully understand the implications of what they are asking, but it would be good to share how as a parent it is making you feel. Children are curious about their bodies, but it has to be looked at in a respectful way.

2. There are some great books that you can get to sit down with your daughter and talk about the body, learning healthy boundaries and that will help you as parents to talk about it calmly and safely. Here are a few to begin with: "The Girls Body Book", "Amazing You!" (which looks at boys and girls), "Lift and Flap Questions about the Body". These can all be found on Amazon. 

3. Try your very best not to tell your daughter off for what she says about the situation - she is curious and wants to know how and why our bodies are different. 

4. Are you able to talk with your partner about why you find it frustrating and irritating when you see/hear your daughter acting like this? Keep communication going and talk about how you are feeling - it's ok to wonder why. 

5. Have an informal, relaxed chat with your daughter when Mum is there too and gently say to her which areas of our bodies are just for us to look at and look after. You could encourage this behaviour in school too, and encourage her next time to give any letters or to report anything that is said to her about certain body parts that is inappropriate.

I appreciate that it is not easy when situations like this arise, but if you are open and honest with your daughter and try to keep calm, you will do fine.

 

Best wishes, Fegans Parent Support 

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Posted : 25/01/2022 3:11 pm
Lostinblac
(@lostinblac)
Estimable Member Registered

Thanks for all the replys I appreciate it.

 

It happend again her and a boy were naughty in the sense that the boy peed in another kids shoes and my daughter was there proberly laughing and cheering him on. We got a call and it was embarrassing but they asked us to find out what happendbwhich we have but we're going to speak about the whole situation at the same time. We tried doing the We trust you situation and stay away which she said the boy asked again and she said no but I only velieve it so far. So we're going to make the school aware so they can watch it more.

The school are fairly un funded and stretched especially with covid so I think alot gets missed .

I'm anxious because of anything sexual with kids tends to get turned around on the parents. And the boys mum works at the school.

But I can't watch her at school so think they need to be aware 

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Topic starter Posted : 27/01/2022 7:53 am
Champagne
(@champagne)
Reputable Member

It sounds as though you are doing all the right things.  Hopefully the phase will pass soon

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Posted : 27/01/2022 9:25 am
Lostinblac
(@lostinblac)
Estimable Member Registered

Spoke to the head aparntly the story is the same about the boy peed in the shoes ect but now suddenly he said my daughter pushed him into the boys toilet and forced him to do it and wouldn't let him out. The boys mum is ta at the school so obviously the head teacher is abit of a wimp when it comes to her. He said there behavior is suddenly normal ect so guessing he's scared to go against anyone.

 

What a load of shit

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Topic starter Posted : 27/01/2022 9:38 am
Clarinet
(@clarinet)
Estimable Member Registered

Hello - I would still persevere with the school and insist that you speak with the Head. This is not a funding issue, but an issue of decency and learning appropriate behaviour and boundaries.

Don’t give up. 

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Posted : 27/01/2022 6:39 pm
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